


The Future of Sanditon

by Arkadea



Category: Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Jane Austen - Freeform, Sanditon, Sidney Parker and Charlotte Heywood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkadea/pseuds/Arkadea
Summary: Starting immediately after the Midsummer Ball and following the main characters of the Sanditon television series as their story arcs are flushed out to my liking. This is not completed, but I will regularly update as I get work finished on it. Thank you for reading and please comment as you see fit! Enjoy!
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Georgiana Lambe, Charlotte Heywood/James Stringer, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Eliza Campion/Sidney Parker, Georgiana Lambe & Sidney Parker, Lord Babington/Esther Denham, Mary Parker/Tom Parker (Sanditon), Mr. Crowe/Georgiana Lambe, Sidney Parker & Tom Parker
Comments: 59
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

Lady Denham had always believed that it was a far greater thing to be loved rather than be in love; carrying the affliction oneself had the potential to be the single most painful experience in life and she knew all too well the consequences of losing that person forever. Lady Denham was now old and unloved. Being in this position at seventy-seven was partly due to her own sagacity, however she still found herself constantly amused by the vices and follies of others including her own family and adored to make her opinions on them known to anyone who would listen. Her recent bout of influenza, along with the conspiratorial help of Dr. Fuchs to make her illness seem more severe to her family than it was, had allowed her a rare opportunity to see exactly how they truly feel viewed her, and glimpse for the first time the true heart of her niece Esther, only that had surprised her considerably. Her late husband Sir Harry Denham, second of her two marriages, was the love of her life and when he died and left her alone with his fortune, she saw no reason to relinquish the power, freedom, and position his money gave her by marrying again. She had always been unpretentious and forthright; qualities which recommended her directly to her beloved Harry when they met. He was enervated by tittering society ladies whereas the outspoken future Lady Denham brought him endless joy, companionship, humor, and eventually love and affection. The lack of issue from their marriage however left the inheritance open to more distant relations hence the presence of Clara Brereton at Sanditon House as her companion and Esther and Edward Denham her niece and nephew by marriage at Denham Place. Her nearest relations through marriage would inevitably inherit the title and fortune if she did not step in and make decisions regarding its application therefore, she had decided therefore to disinherit them all and leave her fortune to the development of Sanditon town and the opening of a donkey stud in her name. She still chuckled at her fine joke and imagining the looks on their faces when the will would be read. This however was not to be, while she was in her sick bed and the pernicious vultures were hovering in Sanditon House, Esther confessed much to her aunt (whom she must have believed to be unconscious,) amongst the revelations it would seem that Edward and Clara had discovered her will, burned it, then lay together on her drawing room floor. Thus, Edward had broken Esther’s heart and her honest confession of his and Clara’s inherently feeble nature to her aunt truly touched Lady Denham as it reminded her of her own first love which cut her to the quick. All these revelations also made her determined to live and be well to spite the doctor (who kept insisting she wouldn’t make it to dawn) and her insipid relations (who thought they had it all sorted behind her back). She was determined then to rethink her opinions of Esther and how to proceed when she was no longer obliged to keep to her room. Esther had always seemed to have the same quick wit and sharp tongue as her late husband, but was held back by the need of approval from her brother who took her innocent adoration of him and used it as a weapon against her without her knowledge. Lady Denham knew all too well the prison that was the misguided notion of requiring the approval and love of someone undeserving of any affection. Prior to her first marriage which had been arranged by her parents when she was but eighteen years old, she fell madly in love with a man named Mr. Rowleigh. The similarities between Rowleigh and her misguided nephew Edward were immediately apparent to Lady Denham though it took her longer than she cared to admit to see how he was manipulating Esther, just as had been once done to her. Once the truth was revealed, she felt an immediate kinship with the girl, a desire to advise and support her as no one had done in her own past, and promote her happiness her while her heart healed from what had obviously been years of misuse.  
During the days and weeks following her illness Lady Denham could see that if she was not careful, Esther would end up as sad and lonely as herself, yet she wasn’t worried because she witnessed firsthand how the young Lord Babington brightened her eyes and found the chinks in her interminable armor. It was not until the midsummer ball that Lady Denham was certain that Esther was healing for not only did Esther make an effort to dance and be sociable with Babington but when Edward burst in and tried to manipulate her further the girl stood up for herself and spoke the necessary hard truths to him at last. It was in that moment that Lady Denham confirmed her earlier determination to make Esther the recipient of a large portion of her estate upon her death and hopefully encourage her towards the same true happiness that she herself had enjoyed with Lord Denham. Finding the person with whom life becomes a true adventure and is your equal, someone who inspires the best kind of change within oneself, now that is exactly the kind of romantic idealism that the cynical Lady Denham could never make light of. When Lord Babington came to ask his permission to marry Esther she told him succinctly to prepare himself for a hard labor of convincing her niece because like herself, she valued her independence and had no wish to be a man’s property, but that she also knew that her niece was not opposed to the notion of marriage completely based on how deeply she felt the loss of Edward and the anger she showed once she realized what he had been doing all those years.  
It was at this same Midsummer Ball that Lady Denham could see the defined development of several other relationships and potential couples in the neighborhood. All summer long at the lovely seaside town of Sanditon, Lady Denham had been observing the developing relationships and affections of the young people around her with a curiosity born of personal experience, limited countryside society, and a general interest in human nature and folly. The youngest Parker brother, Arthur had been ever so gradually developing a friendly affection towards the enigmatic Miss Lamb, the lovely mulatto heiress and Mr. Sidney Parker’s ward. Arthur Parker was jovial and excessively kind to Miss Lamb, yet Lady Denham could tell that this was only a keen friendship, and not likely to be more than that in the future, however large her dowry may be. Then there was the local lad young Mr. James Stringer who had, until this past summer, been consumed by his love of building, engineering, and architecture. It was Lady Denham who had recommended him to Mr. Tom Parker as the foreman of their building projects in the town of Sanditon since she had observed the young man growing up and had seen firsthand his talents and passion for the industry. This was the same young man who had never once looked up from his work to see the adoring eyes of many of the other local young ladies, who spoke so eloquently and strongly about his feelings and opinions, and who had devoted his life to taking over the master builder position in Sanditon from his father one day who was struck dumb by the lovely Miss Charlotte Heywood. Lady Denham was particularly taken with the young Miss Heywood herself; her intelligence, clarity of mind, bravery, honesty and forthright nature had immediately endeared her to Lady Denham as a kindred spirit and thus she took an interest in her behaviors and inclinations during her stay and could perfectly understand why young Stringer was so keen on her. Miss Heywood was a guest of Mr. Tom Parker and his wife Mary for the summer season and was a refreshing addition to Sanditon society. The Parkers were a lovely couple who enjoyed a beautiful family and lovely situation at Trafalgar House in Sanditon Town. During the course of what could be described as quite the candid conversation upon their first meeting, Lady Denham discovered that Miss Heywood claimed that she was not of a mind to marry (though she was of the proper age and general loveliness), had no aspirations or intentions on that score, and was only in Sanditon to experience all there was to see and do in the lovely oceanside town. Whether or not Miss Heywood knew or wanted to admit it, Lady Denham was no fool; she understood all too well that with a family of fourteen siblings at home, it would have been folly for the Heywood’s not to allow their eldest daughter this opportunity to potentially find a husband in a perfectly suitable, honorable, and appropriately civilized way. Based on her family connections and fortune, James Stringer would be an excellent match; but also, and more importantly it seemed, they both had a true affinity of spirit and a certain fortitude and industry which Lady Denham could clearly see had the potential to grow into a truly beautiful match if given the chance. However, it would also seem that Miss Heywood’s attentions were focused elsewhere, whether she could see it herself it or not.  
Lady Denham had always fancied herself an excellent judge of character and she especially felt an unusual keenness in her ability to observe the subtle behavioral changes when a person begins to realize they are in love. Starting with anger and confusion, the emotion usually melded into curiosity and then an intense longing to be in the other persons company. She had often observed that Sidney Parker was the more reserved of the brothers Parker and she knew that this reservation was born of a broken heart in his youth. Mrs. Mary Parker had allowed that Sidney had been deeply in love at nineteen but the lady passed him over for an older and wealthier gentleman. He spiraled into dissolution for a time, much to the worry of his family, when Mr. Tom Parker stepped up to pay his debts and he left on a ship to Antigua to seek his fortune and forget the lady. Whether or not he succeeded in the latter remained to be seen but he had returned much wealthier, more mature, and generally much colder than he had been before. Lady Denham sympathized with this all too much herself and yet she knew how unexpectedly someone could pierce a hole in ones resolve to never allow your heart to be free again. His generally reserved behavior made it all too obvious to Lady Denham when he was beginning to feel the pangs of affection for a certain young lady. For the first time in her experience with the Parkers she saw Sidney exhibit true aggravation and confusion in regard to the words, behaviors, and observations of Miss Heywood. It also seemed as though Sidney inspired a frustration in Miss Heywood that Lady Denham knew from her own experience as being one of the first hallmarks of affection, she herself had experienced when falling in love with Lord Denham. These observations were confirmed by Esther who informed her that Babington had observed Mr. Sidney Parker being on the verge of a proposal to Miss Heywood on the night of the Midsummer Ball, but then a fire broke out in Sanditon Town and they were unable to finish their conversation. The fire was devastating, destroying much of the new building and killing old Mr. Stringer as well who had stayed late to finish some work inside the new construction. Lady Denham’s business partner in the improvement and building up of Sanditon Town, Mr. Tom Parker had, without her knowledge or approval, not purchased insurance on the building works and would therefore be sent to the debtor’s prison if she chose to immediately call in the debt. It was Miss Heywood who insisted that she give them a week to find the financing to re-build after the fire so Sidney set off at once for London to find investors or any other way to save the family. 

Lady Denham and Esther were in the drawing room playing cards a week after the devastating fire in Sanditon Town. Lady Denham was about to look over the plans for the replacement of her drawing room floor when they heard a carriage pull up and the bell ring. She expected it to be Lord Babington, who had yet to leave Sanditon Town for London after Esther had accepted his proposal of marriage at the Midsummer Ball. Esther had allowed to her aunt that he convinced her to marry him by simply stating he merely wanted to make her happy, he had no desire to own or command her, and he merely wanted to pass through life at her side. Lady Denham managed somehow to contain her outward decorum while her heart was pounding with joy and she knew that her eyes were shining as much as her nieces when she heard the news. This time however in this instance it was not Lord Babington, it was the Parkers.  
Glancing out the windows toward the Sanditon Park and the sea Lady Denham could see that it was Tom and Mary Parker with Sidney Parker and a lady she did not recognize coming in. When they came to the drawing room she was introduced as a Mrs. Campion, a widow from London, the newly affianced of Mr. Sidney Parker. Lady Denham’s eyes narrowed, knowing something was absolutely not right.

“I suppose you’re here to bail out the brothers Parker, eh? I assume they told you about the folly and ruin which a lack of reasonable insurance can provoke.” Lady Denham was never one to mince words when she was displeased, well any time really but particularly today. She was supremely disappointed in the Parkers, not only because of the lack of planning on the part of Tom for not insuring the building of the town, but in Sidney as well. She knew without a doubt he was in love with Charlotte Heywood and she with him so Lady Denham could only assume that this marriage was intended to bail out the financial ruin that Tom Parker had heaped upon his family. Noble yet stupid, she thought to herself with chagrin. She observed the Parker family a bit closer and could see nothing but happiness and idealism in Tom, he must be unaware completely of the sacrifice his brother is about to make. Mary was smiling but there was a definite sadness behind her eyes that she could not hide. She must know about Charlotte, ah of course she does! The two have been companions and friends all summer long! Part of her look is likely the knowledge that her husband has no idea what his ambitions are doing to his own dear brother. That situating will come to a head soon I’d wager.  
“Well my lady,” the bright-eyed Mrs. Campion interrupted her thoughts, “we marry because of a long-standing affection. Sidney and I grew up together, and have known one another for ages. I am honored that he made me an offer and am only too happy to help save his dear family from ruin and promote their investments which will soon become my own.”  
Sidney Parker looked on with barely concealed sadness and contempt in his eyes at his fiancé. Her words were at a stroke condescending and self-promoting, what a shrew! Although Mrs. Campion was lovely to look at, fair haired and blue eyed, with dimples in her cheeks and lines which not only betrayed her age, but a countenance more prone to frown than to smile. Lady Denham could tell that she was a very self-serving woman and unlikely to do anything for the sake of others and she couldn’t help but wonder what Mrs. Campion’s motive was to follow through with this marriage. She is a widowed lady of means- why on earth would she remarry into a family in dire financial straits where the intended groom was obviously uninterested in her. Past history aside, the match didn’t make any kind of sense, there was no reason why this woman should want to align herself with Sanditon Town that Lady Denham was aware of. There must be more to this than was immediately apparent.  
Just then Lord Babington came in, nodded and waved to the group then went immediately to Esther at the pianoforte to greet her before coming over to join them in the sitting area.  
“Why Sidney I didn’t know you were back from London yet! I hope your visit was successful and that you’ve been able to have that conversation with Miss Heywood that we spoke of at the ball.”  
Babington was guileless and completely open to his friend, yet at his words Mrs. Campion’s mouth fell into a frown for an instant then she was all smiles again.  
“Isn’t Miss Heywood the young woman you brought in to help you, Mary, with the children over the summer? What a wonderful opportunity for a farmer’s daughter to have some small exposure to proper society and etiquette. I’m sure her parents are terribly grateful to you both for allowing her the opportunity to learn the decorum needed to find herself a husband though I fear she is a bit young for marriage just yet. What was it that you wanted to speak to her about dear? I imagine something pedantic for that seemed to be in her nature as well, didn’t it darling?” With that she looked to Sydney who was gazing out the window and biting his tongue.  
“Miss Heywood is our guest, not a servant, though she has an undeniably good way with our children,” said Mary, “and she is nineteen years old, a fine age to be thinking about marriage. As to her being a great reader, in my time with her I have found it does nothing but add a keen mind to all her other unimpeachable charms.” With that Mary stood and went over to Esther in a pretense of turning the music pages for her since she had stopped playing momentarily to hear the conversation. Lady Denham looked back to Mrs. Campion who had turned to say something quietly to Sidney but he abruptly stood and stalked over to the fireplace and leaned on the mantle.  
“Well Lady Denham,” Tom Parker began, “we had come here to share the joyful news of not only Sidney’s engagement to Mrs. Campion but also her interest in investing in the building works here at Sanditon Town! We will begin repairing the fire damage next week and be ready for tenants by the spring!” He looked positively joyous- completely at odds with everyone else in the room: Babington was staring at Sidney in shock, Mary was stone faced at the piano, Esther risked a few startled glances at her aunt and Babington yet managed to keep time to her music and Mrs. Campion looked like a cat with cream as she gazed at Sidney who just looked tired and defeated. Lady Denham stood and went to pour him a glass of wine without offering to anyone else. He took it gratefully without a glance to the rest of the party. Mrs. Campion took this opportunity to launch into her various and lengthy opinions on everything related to wedding planning, having heard of the approaching nuptials of Babington and Esther. Lady Denham felt unkind words bubbling up when her maid came in with the tea. Saved again by cakes it would seem…

********  
Trafalgar house was quiet this afternoon. Tom and Mary had gone to Sanditon House to see Lady Denham with Sidney and Mrs. Campion to tell her their news and the maid had taken the children to the beach for a few hours. It had been three days since Sidney came back from London and told Charlotte that he could not make her an offer because the only way to save his family from financial ruin was to marry Mrs. Campion. Charlotte understood, but she was unbearably angry at him, and at Tom Parker as well. She had come to realize that if Tom had put the happiness of his family even at the same level of priority as his ambitions, he would never allow his brother to make such a sacrifice. There had to be another way to save Sanditon and keep Sidney from throwing his life away. The only person Charlotte knew who understood her situation with Sidney and could potentially advise her was Lady Susan Worcester. Lady Susan had guessed at a stroke that Charlotte was in love and had done nothing but encourage and support her with every word and move she made. Also, Charlotte was not unaware of the power and influence of her friends’ position as a favorite companion to the Prince Regent, though she felt strange using her friend for anything other than companionship. Charlotte decided that she could at least write to Susan and tell her of what had transpired and she would understand everything between the lines. There was no doubt in Charlotte’s mind that Susan would have a plan and know just what to do. At least she would be going back to Willingden soon and be with her family once more. She only stayed now to attend the wedding of Lord Babington and Esther Denham. She was so terribly happy for them both! Charlottes heart was a juxtaposition of opposites these days and she had an awfully hard time keeping her thoughts to herself- Yes, she would write to Lady Susan, it would allow her to vent some of her strong emotions on the subject and hopefully receive a new perspective or solution for her current situation.

Dearest Susan,  
I hardly know where to begin but the past few weeks have been so painful, I’m not sure where to begin. The night of the Midsummer Ball, I know I wrote and said I was anticipating the most wonderful and exciting news of my life, but instead it was a disaster. There was an accidental fire in Sanditon Town and poor Mr. Stringer (the elder) died in the fire which abruptly ended what should have been a very meaningful conversation between myself and Mr. Sydney Parker. Not only that, but it would seem that Mr. Tom Parker neglected to purchase insurance on the building works in Sanditon Town and would therefore have been ruined if Lady Denham had called in the debt from him. Oh Susan, this next news is just too awful for words! Since Tom was so terribly in danger of being ruined, Sydney departed immediately for London to search out some way to save his brother and his family from destitution with the understanding that he and I could have time to speak upon his return. However, when he returned his news was wonderful and heartbreaking in equal measure, he found an investor to save Tom and his family, at the cost of both of our future happiness. Mr. Sydney Parker is now engaged to marry Mrs. Campion and I am desolated. I understand why he made this choice, but I am in turns so angry at him for making this choice for both of us and at Tom for not seeing how his ambition is ruining his family. My dearest friend, I don’t expect anything of you but, as ever, to remain my confidante and friend. I did not know to whom else I could relate all this and have an understanding and sympathetic ear! I will be traveling home to Willingden in two weeks after the wedding of Lord Babington to Miss Esther Denham and I am truly looking forward to some distance between myself and the Parker family and the comfort of being among my own.  
I hope all is well for you and I look forward to your next letter!  
Yours Etc,  
Charlotte Heywood

After putting her strong emotions down on paper Charlotte did feel a measure of calm returning to her mind, but her heart was still an open wound. From all she had read of the condition of being in love she knew that this was not something that would heal quickly, if ever- but she was determined to make something of her remaining time in Sanditon so she resolved to take her letter to post, then go take a swim at the beach before dinner and walk back with the children before Tom and Mary returned. Retrieving her jacket and bonnet from the hall she set out.  
The sea breeze was gently coursing through the town as she turned downhill towards the beach and the post office. As she walked past Mrs. Griffith’s she decided to call on Miss Georgiana Lamb tomorrow morning after breakfast. By all accounts Georgiana was faring better than before her abduction to London, though it was clear to Charlotte that she was still keenly affected by the loss of Mr. Molyneux and Charlotte knew that she could sympathize more with her friend now more than ever. As she approached The Crown Hotel, she saw the innkeeper Mr. Beard outside. He waved to Charlotte in a friendly way as a large coach pulled up to the door. Charlotte stepped aside just in time to see Sydney step down and reach back to help Mrs. Campion out of the carriage.  
“Miss Heywood, good day to you,” he said quietly, “My brother and Mary should be home soon, they left Sanditon House shortly after we did. Where are you off to?”  
Before she could answer him, Mrs. Campion interjected, “Oh darling a young girl needs her secrets,” she said as she winked in what many would think was conspiratorially at Charlotte but it was said very sharply and was obviously meant to be condescending.  
“I’m heading to the post and to enjoy some sea bathing before dinner. The children ran down to the beach with Nelly earlier as well and I thought I would see them all home.” Charlotte didn’t know why she felt she should justify herself to either of them, but she couldn’t stand the thought of Sydney believing for a second that she had anything to hide. “Have you tried sea bathing yet Mrs. Campion? It’s quite enjoyable, Mr. Parker’s bathing machines are very fine indeed.”  
“No, indeed I have not tried it though I daresay it seems like a cold miserable waste of time to me. I can’t imagine anything so tedious as wandering about in freezing cold water, don’t you agree Sydney?”  
“On the contrary Mrs. Campion,” Sydney began, eyes darkening even in the bright afternoon sun, “I quite enjoy swimming. It is most beneficial exercise and is quite freeing and invigorating. If I had the time today Miss Heywood, I would be tempted to join you.” He looked at Charlotte with the last and smiled at her with his eyes.  
“Well it’s a good thing then that we are very much engaged with wedding preparations and planning for the new building works with your brother,” Mrs. Campion said smoothly. “I believe, Miss Heywood that you have been acting as a sort of clerk to Mr. Tom Parker and assisting him with his office work? You must be so grateful that I am now able to hire a man to do the work for you and you can spend all your remaining time here in Sanditon in the sea and caring for the children.”  
“Indeed Mrs. Campion, I’m sure your assistance is very welcome, I only hope that you receive the appreciation you deserve and perhaps Mr. Parker here will change your mind about trying sea bathing. Good day to you both.” Charlotte bobbed a curtsy and quickly fled with tears in her eyes. She had not thought of the fact that she would no longer be helping Tom with the buildings and improvements of Sanditon Town. Mrs. Campion had essentially made her being in Sanditon obsolete and Charlotte was heartbroken all over again. She had come to truly love the town and the feeling of usefulness that came with organizing Tom’s office and keeping him on track with all of his correspondence and paperwork. Mary had become a dear friend and she adored their children; it would be very hard to leave all of that behind after the wedding since she couldn’t bear to stay until the end of the season had be forced to witness Sidney and Mrs. Campion’s wedding. They had decided to wed here in Sanditon to promote the town and bring the ton here as what, in Charlotte’s eyes, amounted to a publicity stunt though the notoriety would suit Mrs. Campion very well. Upon thinking about the wedding, she began feeling the pain in her stomach and heart which at once begun sharp and stabbing slowly turn into an emptiness. It was as though her heart and soul had been emptied out of her body with the knowledge that she was no longer useful to the Parker family as anything but a nanny, and that she and Sydney would be separated forever. After she posted her letter to Lady Worcester, she headed towards the beach finally allowing the sadness to overtake her as she entered the dune path. She could feel her eyes welling up and her tears made the line between the sea and the sky blur completely until the horizon was all one unending mass of blue, grey, and white. She didn’t immediately see the children, so instead went directly for the sea bathing machines. Once inside and changed into the bathing cap and dress she felt as though the lead weights in the hem might drag her down to the bottom of the ocean along with her heart. Immediately stepping away from the attendants who helped her down from the bathing machine she made her way slowly out into the deeper water. The ocean was refreshing and she knew that in the sea her tears would disappear as quickly as she shed them which allowed her a brief respite from feeling so ashamed at being this upset in a public place. This is the last time I will allow myself to cry over him she told herself as she swam slowly and allowed the waves to gently carry her back towards the bathing machine and the shore. Knowing that her wet hair would be chilly on the walk home, she sat in the dunes for a bit after her swim and allowed the sea breeze and the sun to dry her curls and to warm her when she heard a shriek to her right up the beach. She looked up to see the Parker children running towards her and knew that this would be one of the last times that she could enjoy the beach with the children so was in no rush to head back to Trafalgar House and change for dinner. They played in the sand until Nelly was positively agitated and convinced Charlotte that she would lose her place if they did not go home at once.  
*********

The next morning was foggy and damp. A storm had blown in during the night and soaked Sanditon to its bones. After breakfast Charlotte had decided to go visit her friend Miss Lamb, but to her surprise before she could ready herself for the short walk the bell rang and it was the lady herself. Her friend immediately rushed in breathlessly and took her hands with concern in her eyes.  
“Oh, my dear Charlotte, Sidney just left Mrs. Griffiths with that horrible woman! What is he thinking?”  
Charlotte cautioned quiet to her friend, “The children are with their governess, Mary has gone to see Arthur and Diana, but Mr. Tom Parker and Mr. Stringer are in the office. We should go to the drawing room before we speak further.”  
The drawing room at Trafalgar House had large windows with airy curtains and normally Charlotte loved this room for it faced the sea and often had wonderful sunlight in the mornings. However, the weather today was certainly suiting her mood, particularly after seeing Sidney and Mrs. Campion in the street yesterday afternoon. She could not get his looks out of her mind, and the way he had defended her to his fiancé. Charlotte hoped he would stop provoking more the ill-will that Mrs. Campion already held towards her. Lady Susan was right, she was obviously threatened by Charlotte, though she couldn’t understand why, it seemed the race was already won as far as Sydney was concerned. Charlotte refused to let herself feel any kind of hope or hurt as to where it would be impossible now for her affections to lie and resolved to focus instead on her friend.  
Charlotte rang for tea then she and Georgiana sat by the fire, the damp outside was a bit chilly yet, and they were both grateful for the warmth.  
“I cannot bear to be at Mrs. Griffith’s today. The Beaufort girls are simply too insipid for words and I could not rest until I came to see you.”  
Charlotte looked gratefully at her friend, “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you sooner, I have been very much distracted lately and have been spending a lot of time with the children and preparing to go home after the wedding.”  
“Why on earth would you stay to wait for that!? Sidney has done nothing to deserve your loyalty or pity. He has brought this loveless marriage upon himself. That woman, looks at him as though he were a toy in a shop- it is the novelty of gaining that which she once discarded and now has shine again that makes her want him, nothing more. He deserves the miserable marriage he has in store for his ill treatment of you and the destruction of my happiness. Don’t you dare pity him Charlotte!”  
“I appreciate all your concern for me and if I had indeed meant Mr. Parker’s wedding you would be right on all counts! However, I meant the wedding of Esther Denham and Lord Babington.”  
Nelly came in just then with the tea service and the girls were quiet for a few moments as they warmed their hands and hearts.  
“Have you heard from or written to Mr. Molyneux? We never got a chance to speak about how your farewell to him fared.”  
Georgiana closed her eyes for a moment then spoke, “It doesn’t matter now. He is lost to me forever. I may love him still, but I cannot trust him though it breaks my heart to say it.”  
"I don’t believe that he ever meant to put you in harm’s way…”  
“That may be true,” Georgiana interrupted her gently, “but the fact is that he did. His loose tongue and impertinent assumptions nearly cost me everything I have. I know you are only concerned for my happiness my dear friend, but I fear that we both must garner inner strength and the will to continue on and find contentment elsewhere.”  
“Of course, you are right. And I do believe that you and I are both very well suited to find our own happiness without the necessity of some silly man.” When the last two words passed her lips, it was as though the heavens opened up and golden light poured into the drawing room and filled the room with sunlight and warmth. The girls looked at each other with wide eyes then giggled in unison.  
“We should take that as a sign then, that the idea of having one’s happiness completely dependent upon another person is irrational and impossible and we shall endeavor to find other pursuits to bring us unequaled happiness.” Georgiana looked like an angel with the glowing morning sunshine filling the window behind her and her bright smile convinced Charlotte that she must be right.  
“Absolutely,” Charlotte nodded with a much bigger smile than she truly felt and she knew that it was not quite filling her eyes.  
The girls did not hear the steps in the passage and just then Mr. James Stringer came into the drawing room.  
“Good day to you ladies,” he said with a bow, “I just wanted to stop in and say hello.” Mr. Stringer’s eyes were still shadowed and he still looked a bit peaky from mourning the loss of his father. Since the funeral he had taken over all the management and designs for the construction and repairs in Sanditon Town preferring to bury himself in his work to dull the edge of his loss.  
Charlotte stood, “Mr. Stringer, I’m so pleased to see you back to work with Tom, I hope that everything is running smoothly with your plans for the repairs and finishing the construction?  
“Thank you miss; aye indeed we are busy with the new works and cleaning up the fire damage before we can find out what precisely needs repairin’. But I thank you miss for your kind concern, I’m glad of the work at this time as you can imagine.”  
“Yes, of course, I’m so sorry Mr. Stringer, if there’s anything at all I can do to help please allow me to be of service.”  
“I thank you again Miss but it seems as though Mrs. Campion has hired on a clerk to help Mr. Parker with the paperwork and organization of the building works and monies. I can say that the workers are grateful for regular paydays but I shall certainly miss your particular methods of organization over his.”  
“I’m surprised she was able to find someone so quickly, but as you said, he’s a hired man and I’m sure you shall all work together as you always have done.”  
“Yes, I was surprised as well.” He glanced quickly at Miss Lamb, “Are you well Miss Heywood? I mean…after what you had said about Mr. Par…”  
“James!” Mr. Tom Parker popped his head around the corner, “I’m so glad I caught you, I have some new paper samples for the walls in the areas to be repaired! Chosen by Mrs. Campion herself!”  
Mr. Stringer gave the ladies an apologetic smile, “If you would excuse me ladies, it was lovely to see you both. Good day to you.”  
Mr. Stringer followed Tom back towards the office and the when Charlotte looked back to Georgiana her friend was pointing a little lopsided smile and knowing look at her.  
“What is that look for?” Charlotte was confounded at her friend’s knowing look.  
“I think that Mr. Stringer fancies you.”  
Charlotte looked at Georgiana with wide eyes. “No! Surely not! Mr. Stringer and I are friends and nothing more! He is a wonderful young man! He is kind and compassionate, generous and intelligent- Even if he were, I am not- I could not… I am not in the position to consider encouraging any feelings on that count being about to leave for home and still heartbroken myself. I fear that if I were to encourage him it would only be a distraction for us both from our mutual misery at this time.” Anxious to change the subject Charlotte continued, “Would you like to take a walk? It would seem that the storm has passed.”  
Georgianna smiled at her friend, “Of course. I love to walk after the rain, the smell reminds me of home.”

Outside the rain had made everything sparkle like diamonds in the sunshine. The sky was that rare shade of blue that sometimes follows a good heavy rain, like deep blue damask with sheer white silk drapes of clouds in the distance. Georgiana delighted in telling Charlotte how the color of the sky reminded her of the deep ocean waters of her home. She described the colorful fish, exotic fruits and flowers, the birds and beasts of the Caribbean. She told Charlotte what a pineapple should taste like, as well as mangoes, papayas and plantains.  
The beautiful day warmed them both, their bodies and their spirits; and the freshness after the rain invigorated their spirits.  
“I think I should like to try what you English folks refer to as “sea bathing.” Though when I was a girl, we didn’t have to wear any silly weighted dresses, we swam in what God gave us.”  
“Like the men do here!?” Charlotte was surprised though not shocked, “when I was young, we used to swim thus in the pond on my father’s estate in Willingden.  
The girls smiled at each other then started laughing in unison. Friendship was just the balm that Charlotte needed to face the next few weeks in Sanditon.  
“So, would you like to?” Charlotte asked, “I will go with you if you like.”  
“Yes lets! Anything to keep me from going back to Mrs. Griffith’s!”  
And so, they headed deeper into the dunes towards the beach and the bathing machines. Mr. Tom Parker and Lady Denham had truly spared no expense in their execution and design of the bathing machines and their application. Benches, storage for the bathing gowns, room for towels and a place to hang your clothes.  
“Shouldn’t we send a message to Trafalgar House at least to let them know where we have ended up?” Charlotte asked.  
“Very well, though I do not see the necessity, Sidney is right there.” Georgiana pointed over towards the last of the bathing machines just as Mr. Parker could be seen helping a lady into one. ‘It looks as though he has finally convinced Mrs. Campion to try the sea bathing.”  
Charlotte looked where her friend was pointing and indeed saw Mrs. Campion closing the door to one of the sea bathing machines. It didn’t seem to her that Mrs. Campion seemed too happy about her current situation, however she seemed all too motivated to seem thus in front of Sidney. He seemed bewildered, but optimistic until he spotted Charlotte and Georgiana. His eyes visibly widened, and began to walk in their direction.  
Georgiana stopped and looked at him expectantly. “I suppose you are coming now, to tell me that I am not permitted to go sea bathing and that I am to return to the Gorgon Mrs. Griffiths immediately.”  
“On the contrary Georgiana, I was coming to tell you that you could ask for no better partner to join you in sea bathing than Miss Heywood. I have observed in her a great affinity with the sea, and I could hope for no better companion for you to be safe and have an enjoyable experience.”  
Charlotte allowed herself to observe Mr. Sidney Parker in that moment. There was no guile in his words, no condescension, no teasing in his eye. Though as he finished his words his eyes trailed off to look at the sea. He seemed to be talking to himself, or perhaps the horizon. There were new creases at the corners of his mouth and between his eyes that Charlotte could immediately tell were from frowning. Then she stopped and looked at her feet, filled with consternation at the fact that she could discern such a minute difference in the face of a man who she had no hope of being attached to.  
“Well we had better start now if we are to be back for luncheon,” Georgiana said, “Good day Mr. Parker.”  
Then she dragged Charlotte's hand away and towards the nearest bathing machine. Once inside and the ladies were seated, she began again, “What was all that about?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You and Sidney and your Shakespearean pauses when speaking or looking in each other’s direction? You do realize that you are only prolonging the inevitable pain coming as soon as he is married?”  
“I truly don’t encourage anything, or at least I don’t try to…As much as I hate to think it or even say it, I need to leave Sanditon. And soon…”  
The girls were changed and enjoying the sea when they observed Mrs. Campion finally emerge from her bathing machine. Charlotte was enjoying learning a new swimming stroke from Georgianna who couldn’t seem to stop lamenting the awkwardness of swimming in the bathing dresses. They were in deeper water, though they could still touch the bottom it was only by their toes and the surf was continually pushing them gradually towards the shore. Mrs. Campion, it would seem, had indeed noticed them and though she lacked the skill to swim well she was trying to make her way out even further than Charlotte and Georgianna. The latter pointedly ignored her, while Charlotte found herself watching her flounder in the water with the modest concern that she might drown herself. And indeed, soon enough Charlotte could see her strength failing her and her head went under the water once, twice, then the third time for longer than was good. Georgianna was in mid-sentence explaining how to breathe in order to hold your breath longer underwater when Charlotte abruptly broke away and swam quickly over to Mrs. Campion. Her attendants were further away and Charlotte was able to make it to where her head had disappeared first. Charlotte took a deep breath and dove down; she felt her bathing cap come off but she ignored it because she couldn’t see Mrs. Campion anywhere. Suddenly she felt her hand brush something solid and she grabbed and pulled just as her lungs began to burn for air. Charlotte broke the surface and immediately saw Georgianna and Mrs. Campion’s attendant who pushed away enough for Charlotte to use the last of her strength to pull the dead weight of the other woman to the surface as Georgiana grabbed her under her arms and began to tow her towards shore where several men were wading towards the ladies. The attendant stayed close to Charlotte as she made her way to shore as well and collapsed on the beach.

**********

The morning of Esther and Lord Babington’s wedding began clear and bright after a light shower in the early hours before dawn. Just enough moisture to draw out the perfume of the late summer roses as they dried in the warm morning sunlight. Charlotte woke more miserable than ever, as though the brightness just amplified her feelings of loneliness and irritation at the past week. The events on the beach had made her somewhat of a local hero. While Charlotte was asleep Mrs. Campion was revived and Charlotte awoke to find herself in Trafalgar house being fussed over by Mary and Tom. She refused to retell the story after that day and was appalled when townsfolk called her a “hero.” She was so conflicted that she couldn’t sleep; part of her knew she had done the right thing and tried to take solace in that, but another part of her couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened in a world without Mrs. Campion in it. The insufferable woman had yet to come by to offer Charlotte any thanks for saving her life though Sidney had come to call; Charlotte pretended to be ill and kept to her room. Mary said he expressed his gratitude and Tom couldn’t stop talking about what would have happened to them all if Mrs. Campion had indeed died for without her money all of the Sanditon works would come to a halt. Mary did not trouble herself to hide her distaste for her husband’s behavior, his lack of emotional understanding of what she, Charlotte, and Sidney were going through to further his ambitions. And though she was quite obvious in her censure he seemed unaffected and did not acknowledge whether or not he even noticed.  
Putting an end to these thoughts for now Charlotte finally roused herself and began to dress. She decided that although she would certainly see Mrs. Campion at the wedding today, she would not herself address the lady. It was not Charlotte's responsibility to ask her for recognition and she refused to debase herself by doing so at a public event. Furthermore, she decided to resolutely keep her thoughts on the goodness and love that would be a result of today’s union and not allow Mrs. Campion’s pettiness to ruin anything today. Ms. Denham deserved every happiness and Charlotte truly did like Lord Babington; they would make a lovely couple. Charlotte resolved to not let her inner dramas interfere with or overshadow the true joy of this day so she washed her face, brushed her hair, and put a demure smile on her face before going down to breakfast.

*****

The gardens of Denham House were beautifully appointed with extra flowers, garlands, colored glass lanterns and refreshment tables. The wedding guests were quietly mingling as Lady Denham and the bride and groom held court under a tent with their own table of champagne, cakes, and strawberries. Charlotte was anxious to leave now that the ceremony was over, Mrs. Campion had maintained a healthy distance from her throughout the day which was perfectly amenable to Charlotte. She overheard plenty of gossip regarding the obvious enmity Mrs. Campion was showing Charlotte but she forced herself to say nothing about it and comfort herself with the knowledge that in two days she would be heading home to Willingden. She decided to get a glass of lemonade and find Georgianna before letting Mary know she wished to walk back to town. She chose a glass and turned around to nearly spill it on Sidney’s chest.  
“Miss Heywood, excuse me.”  
“Excuse me Mr. Parker,” she said without meeting his eyes, then turning again to leave she got out, “good day to you sir.”  
“Wait…Please, Charlotte… Are you umm, well?”  
“Perfectly well thank you Mr. Parker. I imagine you are thoroughly busy with your own approaching nuptials.” She still couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eyes, seeing the sadness in them which she knew was there would only multiply her own.  
“Well, Eliza has taken full control of that area. It will sadly be nothing like this wedding which is much more to my taste.”  
“I see. Well good luck to you sir.” And she turned again to leave.  
“Wait!” then he whispered, “Charlotte, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for how she has ill-treated you. I wish there was some way to make amends.”  
“Think nothing of it Mr. Parker. I did what anyone should do. And Mrs. Campion has made no secret of her regard towards me. Anyway, it shall all be over soon enough.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Only that I am going home on Sunday. Truthfully, I miss my family and can’t bear to be so idle and useless here in Sanditon as I have been of late. I beg you would excuse me, good day Mr. Parker.” And with that she set down her untouched lemonade and made a direct line for Mary and Tom who were paying their respects to the bride and groom. Charlotte could not leave without congratulating her friend on her happiness, though hers seemed so far away now as to appear lost in twilight.

Lady Denham watched Sidney speaking to Charlotte and couldn’t help but abandon the tent and walk towards the bewildered gentleman just as Charlotte was heading towards her with tears in her eyes. Lady Denham stopped her and quietly said, “Do not give way to grief my dear. He loves you, but he is a man and will therefore take his time in finding his way. He is in love with you, not that creature! And don’t you forget it!”  
Charlotte looked at The Great Lady of the County with utter disbelief and said, “I thank you my lady but I cannot allow myself to hope. It is far too painful and there is little cause to believe it will ever come true. I appreciate your concern and your attention; however, I feel it is best for everyone for me to separate myself from this place as soon as I can.”  
“Well that woman has another thing coming if she thinks she is going to come into my town and have some gaudy wedding in MY assembly hall. So, you take comfort in the fact that there are many of us in your corner my dear!”  
Charlotte was on the verge of tears and all she could do to acknowledge the kind sentiments was to bob a curtsy and flee before she lost her composure. Lady Denham continued her trek over to Sidney and blurted out at him, “you know of course that she’s still in love with you, you fool.”  
Sidney looked at her with his eyes wide, then mastered his features quickly as Mrs. Campion approached.  
“And as for you,” she continued, “I can’t begin to understand why my niece invited you to my home with the way you have behaved towards our friend Miss Heywood. She saved your life and you have been nothing but selfish and disagreeable.”  
“You are mistaken my Lady,” Mrs. Campion said with a smirk, “As a token of my thanks I have invited Miss Heywood to mine and Sidney’s wedding only today.”  
Sidney turned quickly to look at her with unguarded pain mixed with utter disdain in his eyes.  
She turned to him slowly, “What? Did you think I had forgotten to pay my respects to my savior? With you reminding me daily of what you say my duty should be?” The venom in her voice was unmistakable. “I cannot understand why I should pay more than a general courtesy to one who is little more than a serving girl for doing what any person would have done.”  
“She should’ve left you to your own folly. Swimming to the deep on your first try! You, having no experience whatsoever in the water- then shaming the girl who saved your life? Shame on you! Madam, if it were not for this joyous day, I would say that you are welcome to leave my home this instant. However, I do not wish to behave in the same manner that you seem to be so easily accustomed to so I will simply say that in the future I hope our interactions are limited to investor meetings, and I hope you have a second location possibility for your wedding reception. And Mr. Parker, aligning yourself with this creature will be the worst mistake of your life.”  
They were drawing some curious looks so Lady Denham chose this moment to make her way back to the happy couple. Esther and Babington may wholeheartedly agree with Lady Denham’s sentiments with regard to Mrs. Eliza Campion, but she did not want to ruin their day by relating her words to them today.

*****

Charlotte made her way back to Trafalgar house in a haze. The lovely day, with its joys and beauties had nearly been ruined by her interaction with Sidney. Why did he persist in torturing her by being so kind? And Lady Denham! Though Charlotte was not surprised by the Lady’s lack of adherence to convention, she was still shocked by her words and sentiments. How could she possibly take such a stand with their wedding as Mrs. Campion being the financial savior of the Sanditon project and Sidney being the brother of the primary businessman? Charlotte knew that Lady D did not care for social niceties and was generally determined to have her way regardless of how people may speak of her. How freeing it must be to have position and fortune to vindicate your behaviors no matter how forthright and strange they may be!  
The countryside around Sanditon was indeed some of the most beautiful Charlotte had ever seen. Fields of flowers under cover of trees which transformed the ground into dappled blue and white with green above and sunlight filtering through. She had always found comfort in the quiet places provided by nature and took this walk as an opportunity to breathe freely for what felt like the first time in weeks. The air was full of the moist smell of rain and earth with breaths of breeze lightly tinged with bluebells and honeysuckle. It had not warmed enough in the woods for the scent flowers to be overwhelming and Charlotte couldn’t help but think how different this place was compared to her home. In Willingden the trees were older, and thicker on top than by the sea. Mary said that it was because of the wind off the sea, it made all the trees in its direct path grow towards the land and have fewer leaves than their inland brethren. But the forest undergrowth was thicker because of the extra moisture from the ocean. Observing these differences helped her take her mind off of the drama of the day and comforted her immensely. She decided to write once more to Alison before leaving on Sunday and pressing a few of the flowers she had come to love in her letter.  
Upon reaching Trafalgar House Charlotte found she had two letters; one from Lady Susan and one in a hand she did not recognize. She took them to the sitting room to read and write her own letter as well. She decided to read Lady Susan’s letter first because she may wish to write her again as well before she left Sanditon.

My Dear Charlotte,  
I have been made aware of the situation with Mr. Parker and Mrs. Campion in the form of an invitation to their wedding. Apparently, it is to be held in Sanditon in order to potentially drum up more interest in the place. I know that I shall not shock you when I say that I am not surprised she would use her own wedding as an opportunity to further her business interests and investments. What boastful conceit! She may be wealthy and elegant in company, but she has no substance of character. I am terribly sorry to hear of the death of Mr. Stringer, and of Mr. Tom Parker’s poor choices and how they are still affecting his family. Though I am unsurprised having been apprised of Mr. Parker’s financial situation previous to attending the Regatta, I find myself quite enchanted by the place and am happy to encourage those in my influence who will listen to take houses there. In fact, I have already written to Mr. James Stringer to inquire about the potential building of a summer home for myself in Sanditon! My thoughts were to be closer to you in Willingden and potentially supply enough capital to Sanditon through my connections that it might be at least a portion of what Mr. Parker owes and possibly free Mr. Sidney from his agreement. There would need to be substantially more interest to free him completely, but I will try to drum up what interest on that score that I can. I fear that this is all the help that I am able to offer Sanditon town, and as for you, my dearest friend, I have another scheme in mind. I would like to invite you to join me in my home in London for the little season after you have spent some time with your family and secured their consent. It would please me greatly to have your company for the season as well as having you to bear witness to the delights and beauties of Sanditon and relate them to a particular friend of mine. Please write soon to let me know if these ideas please you and you think any of them would be of help to you and those you care for. Be strong my dear, the race is not over and you have a comrade in me!  
Yours etc,  
Lady Susan Worcester

Charlotte was flabbergasted. How on earth did her friend not only know exactly what to do to help ease the sorrows of every hurt in her heart, but also to offer her hope for the future in one small note? She could not believe her good fortune in not only meeting Lady Susan as she did, but having the ability to form such a true friendship with a woman as influential, elegant, and caring as she. As much as Charlotte disliked London, she could see the sense in staying with Lady Susan and promoting Sanditon from there in order to find more investors in the project and loosen the noose that Mrs. Campion had around the Parker family. As much as Charlotte wanted to write back to her friend immediately, her curiosity won her over and she opened the other letter.  
Her glowing heart after her friend’s letter immediately turned to stone. It was a stiffly formal note, likely written by a servant inviting Charlotte and her sister to the wedding of Mrs. Eliza Campion and Mr. Sidney Parker. She stood and immediately thought to burn the letter, but thought better of it. Above all she had no wish to behave on the same petty level as Mrs. Campion so she decided to write a polite but firm decline to the invitation which she would make sure was delivered before she left Sanditon.  
Charlotte’s letter to Lady Susan was brief but grateful and accepting of her offers. She explained that it may be difficult to convince her father, and perhaps a visit from Lady Susan would sway him since she would be coming to Sanditon for the wedding it would not be that much further of a journey to join her at her family’s home in Willingden. Charlotte hoped she was not being too presumptuous or asking too much of her friend!  
What she didn’t know was that Lady Susan was unspeakably bored of London and its tedious society, therefore Charlotte’s life and family were a pleasant distraction and making Susan quite content to feel she was doing some good in the world by her friend. Not to mention the fact that she truly did enjoy Charlotte's company and had, for some time now, watched the meteoric rise of Mrs. Eliza Campion since her husband’s death with concern- for although it was generally agreed upon that she was an elegant and wealthy woman, no one could speak to her actual character and tastes. Since their formal introduction at the Sanditon Regatta, Mrs. Eliza Campion had done everything in her power to attempt to create a friendship with Lady Susan and societal conventions forced their meetings to be frequent, polite, and unavoidable. Mrs. Campion was saccharine in her manners and attentions towards Lady Susan and became more of a nuisance than anything. Her treatment of anyone she perceived to be lesser than herself was irascible and petty, she tended towards self-promotion at any opportunity, and was constantly attempting to subtly make parallels between herself and Miss Heywood in an attempt to belittle her friend (which were not really subtle at all and only served to irritate Lady Susan to no end.) It seemed like all she ever talked about were her wedding plans, (though Mr. Parker was rarely in attendance to her,) and she was insufferably rude to the staff anywhere they went. Lady Susan considered it a severe mark of ill manners and breeding to be rude and condescending to those of a lower station than your own so Eliza’s manners were insufferable. Charlotte would know soon enough what the primary motivation was for her interest in Sanditon and what she planned to do in order to facilitate its progress...

*****

The beating of his stallion’s hooves amplified the throbbing headache and turmoil in his stomach that had plagued him since awakening this morning on the couch in his rooms at the Inn. Sidney had drunk too much the night before trying to drown his sorrows over what would soon be his life and the fact that Charlotte would be leaving the next day and he would likely never see her again. He thought that if he got drunk enough, he could forget, and potentially still be drunk enough in the morning so that he would not be tempted to chase her down and stop her from leaving Sanditon. He was still a bit drunk, but that was beginning to wear off with his renewed purpose. He vaguely remembered spilling his sorrows to Crowe and Babington the night before, he was sure they had already known, but it didn’t matter now. He was going to stop Charlotte and the two of them would leave this place together…no…he could not do that to her. To leave her family behind, to leave his family destitute…he must keep his word, but how could he? His renewed acquaintance with Mrs. Campion had only brought back all the memories of their incompatibility that he had discovered in his sorrows over the past ten years. Sidney could now remember vividly how disdainful and spiteful she had behaved towards his family. At the time he was so in love that he overlooked it, but now it was a thorn in his side. Even more so because he could see that same behavior in how she had treated Charlotte, and quite frankly, everyone; including himself. Her actions reminded Sidney of a spoilt child used to having everything and anything as she pleased. She seemed to treat him as though he were a toy, one she had simply left on the shelf of her childhood nursery which she had ignored until someone else had dusted it off and made it look new again, that person being Charlotte Heywood. Dearest Charlotte, his eyes began to fill and it was not just the wind in his eyes as he raced to catch her carriage which he had just glimpsed in the distance. He could not bear to think that she was alive anywhere in the world and thinking badly of him. He wanted to be the man who he felt he was when he was with her, he knew that it was impossible to let go of the desire to be that man, to embrace the world in that mindset, and yet he still did not know any way for it to become a reality- Money truly was the root of all evils in this world. Without Mrs. Eliza Campion and her thousands his family would be ruined, and if he did not uphold his end of the bargain the town of Sanditon would be ruined as well. “…I find that I am my best self, my truest self, when I am with you.” How his own words tormented him; not that he had finally found the courage to speak them, but the truth of them burned him to the core. He had now made it close enough to the carriage that he could wave to the drivers to stop. As he leapt down from his horse his stomach turned as he remembered his first real conversation with Charlotte, how rude he had been to her! And only because he did not want to admit to himself that he was truly interested in her opinion, and had surprised himself by the honesty behind his asking for her thoughts at that first ball in Sanditon. Then he took his irritation in himself out on her, his rude response masking his interest with irritation. He saw the carriage door open as he handed off his reins to one of the coachmen.  
Charlotte’s face was full of hope and confusion, her eyes lined with questions. He took her hands in his.  
“I could not let you go without…” I can barely breathe! How can I possibly let her go? “Tell me you don’t think too badly of me…”  
Of all the things in my heart this is what I say to her…Though in all fairness, how could I possibly justify burdening her heart even more by relating to her all the torment inside mine?  
“I don’t think badly of you.”  
Her face, her eyes, I can hear the tears in her words already! What a cad I am to do this to her, my being here is only breaking her heart more. I wish I could comfort her with all of my being…  
“I don’t love her you know.” The moment the words left his lips he knew it was wrong to say it.  
“You must not speak like that. She loves you and you’ve agreed to marry her, you must try to make her happy.”  
“Yes, yes you are right. I have to fulfill my side of the bargain.” Grab her, take her, run away together and be happy… and by doing so condemn everyone I love to a life of misery and destitution… “Goodbye Charlotte. I wish you every happiness!”  
“Goodbye.”

*****

Babington woke next to his beautiful new wife unaware as to how he was able to make it home after his night with Sidney and Crowe. He had to confess that Sidney’s revelations with regard to his wedding had not surprised him, but he was certainly glad that his friend was finally able to confide his troubles to himself and Crowe. Crowe… where was Crowe? He slowly climbed out of bed, conscious of the angel still asleep in his bed, he had no wish to wake her and was still overly enchanted with just looking at the bewitching creature he was somehow able to persuade to be his wife. He must find Crowe, something inside him told him that they had hatched some sort of plan to save their friend from a lifetime of anguish in a loveless marriage. There was something about investing? And possibly building? His mind was too fuzzy still to recall. He rang the bell for his valet and went to wash his face in cold water in his dressing room.  
While dressing his valet informed him that Crowe had managed to make it into a guest bedroom down the hall and had not yet risen from his bed. He sent his valet to wake him and dress him while he went down for breakfast.  
In the morning room as he nursed his hangover and went through his post he came across an unusual letter. It was from Lady Susan Worcester and contained information and a plan which could very likely save his friend Sidney from a loveless marriage, and his family from destitution. Upon finishing reading it Babington immediately stood to write her back and give his agreement to her ideas. He was about to go and do just that when Esther came in to the breakfast room, all smiles and jokes about his carousing the night before. He kissed her soundly, shoved the letter into her hands and dashed to his office to write to Lady Susan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting this week! My son was sick and I've been unable to get the editing finished on some dialogue. I know that many purists won't like my choices here, but I really don't care! This story is primarily for me and my own enjoyment and I have loved these characters since I was 12, they should all be acquainted ;)

Two weeks later in London at Lady Susan Worcester’s house, Grosvenor Square

“Good morning Charlotte! Did you rest well? I know it has been somewhat of a tumultuous week but I would like to introduce you to some dear friends who share our general distaste for “fashionable” society if you feel up to it today.” Lady Susan smiled at her protégé and hoped that she would be amenable to taking tea with her inner circle this afternoon. Lady Babington had already sent her intentions to come, but only one of her other friends had sent word that they are even in town, let alone able to attend.  
“I am very well, thank you! Yesterday’s fittings have given me quite the appetite today, though I know better than to indulge or I would have to repeat the experience again in a week!”  
“Well I am certainly glad to hear your levity returning with your smile. Though I think we can safely presume that we shall not again see Mrs. Campion or Mr. Parker again until the ball on Friday.”  
Immediately Charlotte’s smile faded with the simple mention of them.  
“My dear you must bear up, anyone with eyes can see that Mr. Parker has no interest or intention to marry that creature! Her manners and address have not recommended her to anyone other than blatant sycophants who want nothing more than to be in her esteem since she has a fortune and no close relations to speak of to inherit!”  
Charlottes face looked even more bleak if that was possible and said, “what a sad life she must lead! Perhaps her outlook on life and how she treats others is related to her not having or knowing what love truly is and has the potential to be.”  
“I think you give the lady too much forgiveness, though your feelings do you credit. You truly are a far superior woman, and are lucky enough to know a distinction that many cannot boast.”  
“I think you flatter me Susan, though I appreciate your sentiments. It would not grieve me whatsoever if I could forget all that has transpired between Mr. Parker and myself, though the memories give me some hope of finding it again in the future. And as for today, I believe I should be happy to meet anyone that you consider to be a dear friend.”  
“Excellent! Let us see if Anna has finished pressing your tea gown for today, although I doubt the ladies coming would care a fig if you wore a towel!”

As tea time approached, Lady Esther Babington was the first to arrive. She was truly happy to see Miss Heywood and lamented their time apart. She could not be happier in her recent marriage and was positively glowing from head to satin slippered toe. Marriage could not possibly suit anyone as well as she! Charlotte found her to be quite a different woman to the cold, severe, and melancholy one she had met at the beginning of the summer. Her eyes shone with care and love, her clothes, though of the same cut as before, were brightly colored and brought out the tones in her skin to make her seem to blossom in the sun filtering through the lace curtains of Lady Susan’s parlor. She told them that her honeymoon was being postponed until after Sidney’s wedding because Babington had refused to miss his friend walking down the aisle. Esther didn’t mind the delay either because spring in the Alps was said to be exquisite. She inquired after Charlotte’s family and related the circumstances of Charlotte’s acquaintances in Sanditon. Lady Denham was doing as well as ever; feisty and adamant in her dislike of Mrs. C. She made quite a public point of declaring her enmity, the chief reason being her treatment of Charlotte after saving her life and the appointment of a clerk to take care of the paperwork for the building of Sanditon who had apparently made a complete mess of everything within a week. Lady Denham threatened to call in her loan to Mr. Parker if the clerk was not replaced immediately. Apparently, the entire town was talking about Lady Denham’s refusal to allow Mrs. Campion and Mr. Parker to hold their wedding party in the Assembly Rooms in Sanditon. The event was intended to be a publicity engagement for the town, and Mrs. C made no mystery of her resentment towards the Lady of the County as well as denigrating the decision as being detrimental to the success of their shared business venture. No one in Sanditon was fond of Mrs. Campion, and very few kept up any pretense of liking her at all. Only the Parker family would admit her for social occasions at their home, and even then, only Tom pretended any friendship with her. Mary feigned illness whenever she was scheduled to arrive at Trafalgar House and though Eliza had taken some apartments overlooking the sea in Sanditon Mary had never accepted an invitation to visit them. Apparently, Mrs. Campion had decided not to debase herself to Lady Denham over the Assembly Rooms and was paying for a large number of tents and pagodas to be erected on the beach for the wedding party. Georgianna was expected to arrive in London early next week and was anxious as ever to see Charlotte, she lamented the Beaufort girls and Mrs. Griffiths whom she referred to as the “Gorgon.” Eager to see her friend, Charlotte smiled and imagined attending events with not one but two friends with whom she could share her true thoughts and feelings about society and the world.  
“As soon as we arrived, I received an invitation for a ball tomorrow night near Berkeley Square.” Esther was never one to be enthusiastic about a dance, but apparently all one needed was a good partner.  
“Yes!” Lady Susan replied, “That is my dear friend Elizabeth, she said she would join us this afternoon so I will allow her to relate the details, but I know you will both greatly enjoy her company as much as I do.”  
A footman then came in presently with the tea service, biscuits, and dainty cakes for the ladies. They chatted about fashions and the delicacy of the new lace handkerchiefs that Charlotte’s sister had made for Lady Susan until they heard the front bell ring again.  
Lady Susan’s butler came into the parlor and announced Mrs. Darcy. She had dark, curly hair, bright eyes and rosy cheeks and Lady Susan rose to meet her friend and kissed her cheeks smiling fondly.  
“Oh! My dear Eliza why will you not take a carriage? Always walking I’m afraid of you getting run down on these busy streets! You’re not in Derbyshire!”  
The new arrival laughed, “Obviously because walking is my… second favorite form of exercise Susan and I refuse to be put off from it simply because we are spending some time in London! Now please, introduce me to your enchanting protégé and say you both will be coming to the ball tomorrow.”  
“I can safely say that we will be delighted to see you there. Charlotte, let me introduce you to my dearest friend, Mrs. Elizabeth Darcy. We met in Bath a few years ago shortly after her marriage and have taken every chance to meet since!”  
“I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance Mrs. Darcy,” Charlotte stood and curtsied.  
“And this is the lately married Lady Esther Babington,” Susan added.  
“I’m very happy to meet you Mrs. Darcy! Thank you so much for the invitation to your ball! Though I imagine it is Lady Susan who is behind that.” Esther said with a bit more reserve in front of the new and elegant lady.  
“Oh, not at all! I have been looking forward to meeting you! Mr. Darcy is in business with Lord Babington near his estate in Kent and we are delighted that he has married, and quite happily too by all accounts.”  
Charlotte immediately liked Mrs. Darcy, there was no pretense in her kindness, no subterfuge in her actions, and of course, if she was a dear friend to Lady Susan, Charlotte could see no reason why she should not be delighted to know her. Esther began to effusively speak more about Lord Babington and their plans again which then turned into asking Mrs. Darcy what her preferences had been for her wedding arrangements. To which she demurred that her wedding had been a double with her eldest sister and she had made all the decisions other than her dress which was made by her friend Charlotte Collins.  
“But never mind all that, we have plenty of time to discuss the past when the present is less imminent… Now Charlotte, Susan tells me that you are in the middle of a tragic love story! Nearly as tumultuous as my own and yet hopefully with an even more incandescent marriage at its end.”  
“You must be mistaken Mrs. Darcy, there is no chance for me to be involved with love or marriage at this time.” Charlotte replied, curious about Mrs. Darcy’s story but unwilling to go into details about her own.  
“My dear,” began Lady Susan, “You must be honest with yourself at least and trust me to help you! I asked these friends here today to unveil a scheme I have to hopefully help you find happiness and to promote the town of Sanditon which I know you love so well. There is much to discuss.”  
Elizabeth turned then to Esther and Charlotte and continued, “You know she introduced me to society as well. The ton found my marriage to be rather scandalous and most of the eligible ladies assumed I was a fortune hunter when Darcy and I wed. I admit that I didn’t like him at all at first, but we ever so gradually fell in love and it all worked out for the best. Have faith Charlotte, you are in good hands and I’m sure that Susan will accommodate your introductions with style and grace and also promote nothing but your continued happiness.”  
“If the aim is to introduce Charlotte to London society,” Esther began, “then I don’t quite understand why I’m here.”  
“Esther, I need your connections through your husband to know which events Mrs. Campion has been invited to so that we can avoid those and make sure Charlotte is not forced to be in her company, for now. I believe that with time, Charlotte will be the talk of London and Mrs. Campion will be green with envy. When one is in the grip of a powerful emotion like that one is bound to slip up and make a mistake, My hope is that when she lets down her guard, we may be able to either find out her motive behind the engagement. And Lizzy, you and I will make sure to influence our acquaintance to not invite Mrs. Campion to their soirees. I will make sure that you are introduced to the Prince Regent this Saturday at the theater as well.” Lady Susan looked rather pleased with herself though Charlotte seemed confused.  
“I think I understand what you are aiming for, yet I cannot think why you are taking so much trouble on my account. I fear that the arrangement is final with Mrs. Campion and Mr. Parker and this scheme will only produce further acrimony from her.”  
“You must trust me my dear, Mrs. Campion only cares for what other people think of her, if she is being snubbed by society it will show her true character to all. She only thinks of appearances and her position and fortune, she cares nothing for the thoughts and feelings of others. I cannot think why she is so intent on marrying Mr. Parker except that she desires to hurt you for gaining my regard where she was unable to and frighten you with her contempt. She truly only makes people uneasy when she is admitted to society as it is. For that kind of pettiness, I shall most certainly put any effort I can into her comeuppance.”  
Charlotte could not help but smile demurely at the shining face of her friend.  
“Alright, I put myself into your care and expertise.”  
“Wonderful!” Lady Susan beamed, “I think now I shall try some of these cakes.”

Antigua four years ago

Sidney awoke with a start and a groan. The sticky tropical heat clung to him and made his bedclothes stick to his skin. He had been on the island for several years now and he still couldn’t get used to the completely backwards weather from what he grew up with in England. He looked across his commodious room and mentally thanked his friend Captain Lamb for taking him into his home, the open windows and mosquito nets were a welcome change from the dank, humid hole at the inn which stank of rum and rotten fruit. He was able to get used to the smell, mildew and fruit were common enough on the island, and a good amount of rum helped with the numbing of his nose, but the bugs were insufferable. Persistent heat made sleeping in clothing impossible but yet the bug bites would cover any skin which was not covered with some kind of fabric and even then it was little deterrent made for long hot days and even longer nights.  
Since joining Captain Lamb and freeing his slaves then hiring them on to work for a decent wage, Sidney was considered a renegade by the other plantation owners on the islands. He didn’t care, he would rather die than treat any human being the way those men treated their “property” even if the other land holders threatened them both and accused them of treachery and stirring up trouble with their workers. In his heart Sidney knew that slavery would be a thing of the past soon enough. Yet in his wildest dreams he had never imagined the boundlessness of human violence and hatred until he came to Antigua and saw slavery firsthand. Not even copious amounts of rum could wipe the memories of bloodshed and anguish he had witnessed upon first arriving. Captain Lamb had captained the ship which bore him here on his crossing and had tried to prepare Sidney for what he would encounter when he arrived; but none of the stories came close to describing the true extent of the depravity exhibited by the plantation owners. Violence, torture, abuse, and sexual exploitation were daily occurrences and it didn’t take Sidney long to commence firing his overseers and appointing new ones from within the ranks of his current slaves. The working population had been afraid at first of the changes he proposed, but they had heard of the way Captain Lamb ran his plantations so they knew that his notions were possible and were eager to be free men. Some left the island entirely, some searched for family, but most of them stayed on to work with Mr. Parker and try to make a better world one small piece at a time.  
He quickly dressed in loose breeches and a white cotton shirt without a tie, common attire to combat the heat and humidity here and went to seek out Captain Lamb. He was surely breaking his fast with his daughter Georgianna. Her mother, Mrs. Lamb had been taken by a fever several months ago leaving a teenage girl with no mother to guide her and a father who was away at sea for long periods of time. Georgianna had taken to Sidney like a sister, and when Captain Lamb was away he indulged her with stories of England and his family back home. She was close to the same age as his youngest sister Diane and reminded him of her with her jokes and kindness towards everyone.  
As he walked onto the open veranda where they usually ate breakfast and found no one there. There was no food or coffee either. Sidney had become accustomed to drinking coffee since arriving on the island and had changed a good portion of his land holdings to grow coffee as well as sugar because of it. He heard voices outside near the kitchen outbuildings so he headed that way. He found the head housekeeper and another maid talking outside the kitchen. It looked as though the maid was carrying a tray of various small medicine bottles and a pitcher of water. As he approached, they both became quiet.  
“Good morning,” Sidney smiled at them, “could you tell me where to find Captain Lamb and Miss Georgianna?”  
“Sir the Captain was taken sick last night, he has a fever and is plagued my monstrous dreams.” The housekeeper spoke English very well and had been teaching Sidney common phrases in Antiguan Creole occasionally. “He was asking for you just now, you had better go on to his chambers Sir.”  
“Thank you,” he muttered as he turned to leave. Gods no! His only friend, who he met on the long journey to the island, who shared all his thoughts and opinions, who had commiserated with him in his sadness over the maltreatment he received from Eliza! Fevers in the islands could be deadly, and he hurried back into the house.  
He found Georgianna exiting her fathers’ room as he approached, eyes red and tired. She had likely been up all night with him.  
“Oh good, I was just coming to fetch you,” she began, “his fever has calmed somewhat and he is lucid enough as of now to have called for his solicitor, a parson, and you.” Her eyes were brimming with tears.  
“Georgianna I am so sorry; you should have woken me sooner.”  
He embraced the girl and told her to go get some rest which she grudgingly agreed to do.  
In the bed chamber he could smell the sweat which was always part of island, and an undercurrent of sickness and blood. The solicitor sat in a wicker chair near the bedside with a lap desk making notes on a piece of paper. Captain Lamb was pale and drawn with a sheen of sweat on his forehead and chest. A young boy was also beside the bed fanning the Captain with a palm frond to help cool his fever.  
The solicitor finally looked up and acknowledged Sidney with a terse smile and handshake.  
“You must be Mr. Parker; the Captain here has told me much about you and your intention to return to England in the near future.”  
“Yes, I am. I was planning on boarding Captain Lamb’s next ship to Bristol in the fall.”  
The solicitor’s name was Hawkins, he looked at the Captain then with a bit of sadness in his eyes, yet his manner was all business. He ushered Sidney to another wicker chair that was pulled next to his own beside the bed, presumably where Georgianna had been keeping vigil at her fathers’ side. Captain Lamb’s breathing was labored, yet his eyes were clear and bright. The ruddy complexion he normally bore had completely given way to the illness and fatigue but he was bearing up admirably for this meeting.  
“Mr. Parker,” Hawkins began, “it is the intention of Captain Lamb, on the condition of his possible demise, that you take over guardianship of his daughter, Miss Georgianna Lamb and the care of his plantation and her fortune until she comes of age at twenty-one.”  
Sidney was stunned, he looked at his friend with his mouth open. Captain Lamb’s holdings were vast and accrued a massive sum of money each year. On top of that, he had no idea what to do with a ward.  
“Furthermore, he would like Miss Georgianna to travel with you to England to continue her education and find a husband there under your guidance and care. You shall be in charge of her investments within the annual income of eighty five to one hundred thousand pounds per year…”  
Hawkins’ voice faded in Sidney’s mind…One hundred thousand pounds!? How could he want me to be in charge of that much money? And his daughter? He looked towards his friend, reclined on the pillows, gaunt and tired, a shade of the man he met five years ago.  
“Lamb what are you thinking? You can’t be serious! I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility!”  
“Sidney, I have been thinking about this since Adesina passed,” his voice was soft but clear, “Georgianna loves you and I don’t know any other man whom I would trust to carry on my affairs and estates with the same level of honor and dignity that I would expect and admire. You are young, but you have a strong heart and more ability to love than you know. Don’t let your past determine your future, be not afraid of allowing your heart to open itself once more to love. For me, please, be happy and teach my daughter well.”  
He closed his eyes as though the effort of speaking had completely drained him. Sidney poured him a glass of coconut water and Captain Lamb sipped a little bit of the salty-sweet liquid before continuing.  
“Hawkins, make sure to have the parson witness the document but I should like to sign it now. I feel the need to sleep coming on.”  
He tried to reach for the quill but it was as though he could not lift his arm. Sidney looked and saw the bandages in the crook of his arm where the doctor had apparently applied leeches. He stepped back as the lawyer moved the lap desk to the bed and handed Captain Lamb the quill. Sidney gazed out beyond the gauzy curtains at the cerulean ocean, listening to the scratch of the quill, as his friend signed his new life into being. Hawkins then turned to Sidney and handed him the quill, he looked at the innocent object, realizing the finality of death, his future, and what his entire voyage and time in Antigua was culminating into. As he bent to sign he thought how now at a stroke, his entire world would never be the same.


	3. Chapter 3

Charlotte felt that she would never get used to staying up so late and sleeping all day as many of her acquaintances in London were prone to do. Having grown up on a farm she was drawn to the early morning hours and had great difficulty staying up as late as Lady Susan and many of her friends. She adored the quiet of the house in the early morning, even in the streets one could only occasionally hear a solitary horse and the daily milk wagon. Charlotte's rooms looked out over a courtyard and Lady Susan’s hot house which was full of various citrus fruits she had heard of before but never seen in real life until recently and though the view was lovely, she preferred the sitting room in the front of the house for her time in the morning. The quiet crackling of the fire and working her way through Lady Susan’s expense ledgers was becoming Charlotte’s way to start her mornings though sometimes she did miss all the noise and bodies of her bustling farmhouse home in Willingden. On this particular day she was beginning to look at expenses for Lady Susan's desire to build a summer home near Sanditon. On Charlotte’s recommendation she had commissioned Mr. Stringer to draw up the plans and give her estimates on the work. She was hoping to have the home finished by the end of next years summer season. Charlotte was beginning to write another letter to Mr. Stringer regarding the location of the building site and soil samples for the gardens when she heard a coach pull up in front of the house. She heard voices outside and the bell ring in the foyer. Charlotte rose from her desk curious as to who would possibly consider calling this early in the morning. Lady Susan’s butler came in shortly and introduced the visitor, it was Lady Denham.  
“Miss Heywood I would apologize for the earliness of the hour but you know enough of my candor and eccentricities to understand why and how much I abhor convention. Besides, I had a feeling you would be an early riser like myself being the daughter of a farmer and all. Run along now lad,” she said as she turned to the butler who looked like he was close to her age, “fetch me a cup so I can have some of this tea. Have you tried coffee yet Miss Heywood?”  
“Yes, Lady Denham.”  
“Of course you have, staying here in Kensington with your rich friend. I’m sure you have sampled many delights, the likes of most folks will never imagine! But enough of that, let’s get to the point and purpose of this visit shall we? I have a proposition for you Miss Heywood. I require some help getting my estate in order and was wondering if you would be inclined to come back to Sanditon with me and see to organizing my business affairs. I am too old to bother with it myself and I can’t abide idiots or sycophants which seem to be the only type of clerk available for hire these days. Mr. Parker mentioned to me more than once your usefulness to him and I feel confident that should you choose to come you would make a success of it. I have begun repairs on Denham house which shall be yours to live in so long as you are employed by my estate and I can pay you a salary of eight hundred pounds a year.”  
She abruptly stopped here and Charlotte was dumbfounded, why on earth would this woman who was decidedly miserly make such an offer to Charlotte?  
“I… I…” She stuttered.  
“Of course, if you accept, all this will be put into writing by my solicitor which is why I am here in London and so early in the day. I would like to have you back in Sanditon by the end of the week if at all possible. That terrible Campion woman is pushing for her wedding to be at Christmastime so Mr. Parker is begging me to allow her to have the thing in the Assembly Rooms as planned so the gentry don’t freeze. I find I can’t argue with the logic of making the event an opportunity to show off Sanditon to its best advantage, but I cannot abide that woman! She paused and looked quizzically at Charlotte before continuing, “Well, I like fish as much as the next but I’m not accustomed to having NO response whatsoever when I speak.”  
“My Lady, the generosity of your offer undoes me. I don’t know what to say? Why me?”  
“Simple! You’re a lovely, intelligent, pretty sort of girl who is more than capable of taking on this work! But more than that, your friend is building a summer home on my estate and I know she will be more inclined to visit with all of her rich friends if you are in residence in the area. It’s a business decision my dear, though not without a good deal of satisfaction on my end. Not only to have you taking care of my affairs, but I have the pleasure of your company as well.” The older woman tilted her head and smiled. “Very few people can abide my manner of talking and humors. I can tell that not only do you understand me, but you are not offended. And of course, Esther needs a good companion close to her age nearby as well.” She added with a wink.

Six Months Earlier, London, A public Masked Ball

Free…I’m finally free! The novelty had not now, nor would likely ever wear off. She answered to no one, there were no restrictions on her movements, her friends, her menu choices, her spending… She hadn’t blinked at the cost to outfit her gown and mask for this evening. The styling was French, much more revealing of her décolletage than she had ever dared before. I’ve earned this! Particularly after ten years with that insipid old fool! Her gown was made to resemble a peafowl, dark blue satin with shimmering green and purple beading on the deck and hem. Her mask was resplendent in crystals and feathers, fanning out on one side of her head with green and gold ostrich and various sizes of peacock feathers, beading and ties to keep it tight on her face. This night, she wished to stand out, but be anonymous, so her behavior could truly be her own and make the London social world wonder and sing the praises of the mysterious woman who stole the ball. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself in the carriage on the way to the ball. She knew that if any of her family found out about her plans, they would likely think she needed “tending,” especially now that her husband is dead. As she drew near to the venue, she almost lost courage, but in her heart she knew she needed this: a release of all the pent up feelings she had kept inside for the past decade. Her Barouche stopped in front of the ball and she calmly stepped forth to meet the evening.  
The Assembly Rooms were brimming with people, she briefly thought she should have chosen a smaller party but then reassured herself that the need for anonymity was paramount and would be much easier to attain in a large group. Upon entering, she was immediately joined by a tall gentleman with a half mask of a fox done in small painted feathers to resemble the fur covering his eyes who ushered her to a balcony from which the dance floor could be seen, yet she was no longer crushed by the crowd. He made sure she was comfortably seated saying he could see her distress at the crowd and would find her somewhere to catch her breath, then disappeared again to find her a glass of champagne. She relished the thought of the bubbly drink, her family and late husband, though fond of drink themselves, never allowed her to taste it. She had seen the less desirable effects of alcohol on men, but the idea of a glass of champagne always seemed charming to her. As she could then observe her self-appointed escort coming her way with two glasses and she could admire his fine figure. The man was tall, slender and had longer blonde hair and a conspiratorial smile under the eyes and snub nose of his mask. He walked elegantly and very nimbly passing through the throng to return to her side. Champagne was as wonderful, it simply sparkled on her tongue! It was sweet, but not too much so, it smelled of flowers and tasted like fruit, as she sipped her glass, she could feel a growing warmth and boldness inside her. She engaged the gentleman more forwardly than she had ever before dared to talk to a gentleman in her life. Through the snippets of conversation which passed between them she could tell he was an educated gentleman, likely came from money, and had a freeness with his words, verging on vulgarity which she found thrilling. That smile! Equal parts equanimity and scandal, the twist of his lips which made her more at ease than anything else. Before the second dance was over, she had finished her champagne and he gallantly offered his to her which he had not touched. Though it was against protocol at a masque, she asked the gentleman his name, he smiled conspiratorially at her and said that if she was lucky, he would tell her before the night was over. She smiled and batted her lashes at him before repeating the sentiment to him.  
They danced two dances in which he deftly directed her through a waltz then a variation of a Black Nag before they were then were inclined to find some fresh air as the crush of people had become more than a little warm. The courtyard was cool and not overly quiet. After her third glass of champagne she was feeling a bit dizzy and decided to send for her coach and return home. The gentleman asked which direction she was going and if it would not be too much trouble for him to catch a lift with her since his companions had abandoned him to the gaming tables and he did not bring his own coach this evening. Such boldness! Though how different am I right now? My behavior has been ostentatious! Thank God for the mask! He accompanied her back through the front doors to await the carriage. When it pulled up, she had not yet decided whether to allow him in or not, but when the footman opened the door, he handed her up then followed quickly after without a word. As soon as they were moving, he shifted to her bench and pulled her into a kiss. Once she moved past the obvious improprieties of the entire evening it was a downward spiral into feelings and emotions she had scarcely glimpsed in her whole life. She threw herself into the kiss; pouring out all her pent-up feelings with tongue and teeth. She was so focused on her mouth and his that she scarcely noticed where his hands had been roaming until she felt cool air on her calves. All her years of etiquette and schooling screamed out for her to stop this at once and have the gentleman removed from her carriage but she was so caught up in the magic and anonymity of the evening that she just let go. She had never felt anything but abhorrence when her late husband had occasionally attempted to consummate their marriage. His clumsy movements were nothing to this, it was as though he moved and breathed and knew everything that she needed at that moment to feel free and alive. A tiny voice in her mind said she should savor this because it would likely never happen again. She seized that moment, and made it her own. Chasing the rush of that first kiss until nothing mattered and she gave herself up body and soul to that longing for hands and skin, lips and teeth.

Somehow, they were able to make it into her townhouse, and her bedroom, yet they were soon to assume the only mask of the evening; the ones on their faces. They never used their real names, only terms like darling, rose, and my pearl. He disappeared when the sun came up and she never saw him again. Until four months later at the Sanditon Regatta. It was his smile, his mouth and teeth, but mostly his smile, she came across it by accident, though in her mind she knew it was fate.

She had attended just one more masque in London. Initially because she intended to repeat her previous experience with a few important differences until she saw Sidney and thought he would be the answer to her problem instead. She had the tiniest of complications which would grow and grow until all of society would know her situation. And then her social life, the only life which she had ever really had of her own that her family did not interfere with like everything else would be gone- washed away on the waves of her disgrace. But Sidney …he would save her. He would be her reasonable explanation. And now only to secure him and push a quick wedding…


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (This part is a long time coming, and I'm sorry it took so long to get it written, edited {somewhat XD} and published for you all. THANK YOU so so so much for your encouragement to keep this story rolling. I'm hoping for at least a few twists and turns you don't expect... I know where I want to take this story but it seems to be taking on a life of its own and the characters are telling ME what they want and where it should go. Crazy right? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and please tell me if there are typos etc since I am my own copy-editor haha! Stay healthy out there!!)

Before he could open his eyes, Sidney immediately regretted his choices from the night before. He couldn’t remember leaving White Club but he had a vague recollection of the sun rising so it must have been early, or late depending on one’s perspective. It would seem that lately he was unable to exist without drink; could not wrap his mind around the reality of daily existence without the filter of inebriation to numb the edges of the world. He had not felt this level of disquiet and anger since he was passed over by Eliza at eighteen. The anger which he now directed at himself manifested in a sour humor and excessive libations since he couldn’t bring himself to speak to Tom or engage in wedding plans with Eliza. He couldn’t let himself to admit his animosity to anyone except Babington and Crowe, and they were as sympathetic as good friends ever could be. The only person who would openly acknowledge the depth of his feelings was Mary- and even she would only show him her knowledge of his state by writing to her housekeeper in London to make sure he had everything he needed in the way of healthy food and less drink in the house.  
He tumbled from his bed, slowly moving his jaw and peeling his tongue from the roof of his mouth as he stumbled to the chamber pot. There was a fresh decanter of water on his dressing table next to the wash basin and a fire had already been lit and was starting to burn down which meant the servants had already come and gone. He washed his face and downed two cups of water before fumbling through his dressing table drawer to find his pocket watch and check the time. Faith! It is already two o’clock!? He had missed his appointment with Tom’s solicitor to go over the new contracts for the Sanditon building project as they affected Mrs. Campion’s investiture. He rang for his valet and stripped down to dress in clean cotton drawers. His valet appeared as if by magic, the man must’ve been waiting in the hallway for me to rouse, and informed Sidney that the post had come and Babington had already come by to call just before noon to inform him that he and Lady Babington would be attending Vauxhall Gardens that evening and would love for Sidney to join them. Eliza was in the north at her estate tending to domestic matters needing her attention involving her mother and brothers so he was not required to escort her if he chose to attend. The prospect of being in society with or without Eliza did not appeal to Sidney, however he would enjoy the diversion and good drink available at Vauxhall and decided to confirm the engagement with his friend.  
Thanking his valet, he quickly dressed and headed down for a quick bite of food before he went to the solicitor to make a new appointment. His stomach rumbled as the smell of sausages and toast wafted from the dining room. As he fixed his coffee, he rummaged through the post to see that there was a letter from a man from Mr. Hawkins’ firm in Antigua. He opened it immediately.

Dear Sir,  
I write to you with the gravest of news. Mr. Hawkins, beloved founder of this law firm and solicitor to the late Captain Lamb has fallen ill and passed on from a bout of stomach pains and fever which recently swept through the island. The spread has also claimed the life of the overseers you appointed to your own, and Mr. Lamb’s estates and plantations here in Antigua. I beg you to either write me with your choices for replacements, or if possible, come and choose a new solicitor and appoint them yourself. I have taken it upon myself to undertake the maintenance of paying your workers and securing the businesses as best I can until I receive orders from you directly. I understand this is a difficult decision, but we must make haste in the appointments so as to maintain the status of your employees and to curtail any discord amidst the workers. Please reply as to your immediate instructions.  
Yours Etc,  
Samuel Blackfire ESQ.

Sidney was struck dumb. He sat back in his chair, running his hands through his hair and feeling the stubble on his beard realized he hadn’t shaved for several days. His eggs and coffee forgotten he stared blankly out the window. Antigua! I hadn’t thought to return there until spring at the soonest! Just what I needed to postpone this dreadful wedding. Sidney sat up immediately and went to reply to Mr. Blackfire, write to Tom, Mrs. Griffiths, and Eliza immediately. He sat at the desk in Tom’s office and began his work. He would have to to leave for the islands as soon as possible so that Eliza would not be too upset about the delay and spend several months there before returning. After all, I am responsible for two plantation estates and all the workers dependent upon them, I couldn’t possibly leave the business to a proxy or make hasty choices. Eliza will understand, everyone will. At least, I hope she will…

After finishing his letters and directing a footman to go find out when the next ship he could reasonably book passage on would be available he made ready to go out with the Babington’s, Tom’s solicitor forgotten.  
*****  
The line of carriages was truly astounding as Charlotte and Lady Susan slowly drew closer to the new entrance to Vauxhall Garden. She was a bit disappointed to learn that they would not be arriving by boat as the Thames entrance had been replaced by the bridge they now approached.  
“One cannot come to London and not attend Vauxhall at night my dear,” said Lady Susan with a smile. “The food, entertainments, music, society, everything agreeable in one place! Though you must promise to stay by my side Charlotte, it is very well known that lovers use Vauxhall as a place to hide their romantic interludes.” She added with a wink, “And I must say that you are a far cry from the young lady I met at the masque, these weeks in London have done a great deal to encourage your development and I daresay everyone who has met you has done so with joy and admiration.”  
Charlotte blushed. She looked down at her hands, the light green silk gloves picked up the tan in her skin and matched the light shimmering jade green overlay of her new dress. The dress itself was white muslin with a beautiful beaded lace overlay on the bodice which picked up the green in her eyes and the gold in her jewelry. She had chosen her pearl earrings and a small diamond pendant (the only gift of jewelry she would accept from Lady Susan) on a delicate gold chain. If forced to, she had to admit that she looked remarkably well. Though still a bit thin, she felt more herself and more confident having spent all this time in London without seeing Sidney or Mrs. Campion at all. Most of all she felt like a different person. She had attended an assembly at St. James’s and met the Prince Regent for an intimate tea party. She found him to be somewhat of a silly man, though he adored Lady Susan, and had a very open and guileless manner. Charlotte had been somewhat surprised to learn that Lord Babington was also a friend to the prince, and was most gratified to see Lord and Lady Babington at the tea party as well. Though it was wonderful to see her friends so happy, it made Charlotte feel keenly the loss of love in her life. She was to return to Sanditon in a few days to assist Lady Denham and was nervous at the prospect of having to meet with Sidney and Mrs. Campion there for matters of business.  
“I cannot begin to express the full measure of my gratitude to you Susan, truly. And not just for the clothes, or the parties, entertainments, everything! But for encouraging my skills and proposing to Lady Denham that she give me a position. Part of me dreads the imminent necessity of seeing Mr. Parker and his new wife in Sanditon, but I feel as though now I can meet them and hold my head high due to your encouragement in every aspect of my life. You are a true and good friend and I am so incredibly grateful to have known you.” She paused here then added with a smile, “and, I cannot wait for your summer home in Sanditon to be completed so we may see each other more often, but until then, you will have an open invitation to come to Denham House at any time!”  
Just then the carriage pulled up to a walkway and entrance lined with colored glass lanterns and braziers to keep back the chill air of the river. Charlotte and Lady Susan were greeted by several people who obviously knew Lady Susan and she greeted them all warmly and with kindness. Charlotte was always amazed at how many names Susan could remember, and even if she couldn’t recall a person immediately, she was gracious and polite. Everywhere they went it seemed like Charlotte was introduced to so many people that she could not possibly remember them all, yet with Lady Susan by her side she was always welcomed and treated with respect. As they entered the Gardens and headed leisurely towards the refreshments Charlotte was delighted with what she saw; there were tight rope walkers, performers dancing with fire, and music all around. It seemed as though at least four different songs were being played at once yet it all managed to blend together into a symphony of sound that transported her to another world. There were tents set up to look like a bazaar in India and Charlotte smelled more spices than she had ever imagined. One vendor wore an ivory and gold turban, matching loose pants and vest and pointed shoes. Though his face was dark, she could see a spot of red paint in between his brows. Their eyes met and he smiled broadly then put his hands palm to palm in front of his chest and bowed deeply to Charlotte and Lady Susan. As he stood again a monkey jumped up onto his shoulder and squeaked at the ladies which made Charlotte laugh with joy. The monkey held a date in his hand and held it out to Charlotte. She gently took the small offering and the man in the turban made the motion to her to eat it, he took two more from the basketful in his stall, handed one to Lady Susan and split open the other to show them the seed inside. Charlotte tasted her date and was astonished at the sweet softness of it. Like the finest candy! Lady Susan purchased a sack of dates from the man, some spices that Charlotte did not recognize but smelled absolutely intoxicating, and two embroidered silk scarves with gold along the borders, one white, and one blue. She handed the white one to Charlotte and sent the rest of the parcels with her man to take to the carriage.  
“Charlotte, I insist that you take this, call it a parting gift from the East Indies to take home with you to Willingden. I have another trunk of surprises that will meet you there.”  
Charlotte started to protest but was interrupted.  
“Now, please. It brings me great joy to show such a lovely friend the delights of the world as much as I am able. Besides, it goes remarkably well with your dress don’t you think?”  
“Susan, I know better than to think I have any hope of changing your mind once it has been set, and I must admit that it is lovely and will make a charming story to tell my family of my last days in London.” She managed the last as Susan draped the scarf over her shoulders and arms. Charlotte had to admit, it did match well with her dress.  
Their entourage was a bit larger than normal at this event since they were in such a large and public place, this assured their safety as well as the maintenance of decorum within their ranks. Most of the people there were sycophants looking to further their relationships and positions with the Prince Regent, but even so, Lady Worchester treated them all with kindness and respect. Susan’s man returned and found both of the ladies’ glasses of sparkling wine. Charlotte normally did not drink spirits of any kind, but Susan convinced her that this may be her last chance for some time to have a glass this delightful. Charlotte took a sip and at that moment the night sky lit up with fireworks. The lights and colors mimicked the sparkling cool drink in her mouth and she sighed with pleasure. She stood for some time, arm in arm with Lady Susan watching the display when she sensed eyes upon her and looked back at the crowd and forgot her champagne entirely. Not ten paces away were Lord and Lady Babington and Mr. Sidney Parker.

Everyone in the crowd was watching the sky but Sidney’s eyes were fixed on her. Am I dreaming? Is this some trick of the light? Is it really her? She looks so elegant, so much more mature it cannot be Charlotte. But look, yes, the dimple when she smiles, the shine in her eyes. It is her. Sidney thought his heart would burst. He had not seen her in since he stopped her carriage on the sea cliffs, yet he still felt the same if not even more strongly the agony of their separation. All thoughts of Eliza were out of his mind, and for a moment he indulged the notion that he and Charlotte would run away together to Antigua. Leave everyone and everything else behind and live for themselves… In his deepest heart he knew that that could never be, he and Charlotte both cared too much for those around them to just leave and abandon them to their fates. And any future relationship between them would be tainted by the fact that the connection was founded on deceit and abandonment. Sidney looked at his dear friend Babington and his wife, their faces glowing in the lantern light, brightened by the fireworks in splashes of red and green and gold. He envied them more than he could ever admit even to himself, their happiness and love consumed every part of their lives together. He turned and was again looking at Charlotte, memorizing her features, her hair, the placement of each freckle on her cheeks, how elegantly and gently she held her hands around her glass of champagne. He realized that he could not remember the order of the flecks of gold in her eyes, and when he looked up to see them, he found those eyes watching him as well.

Having arrived in London earlier that evening earlier than planned, Mrs. Campion was desperate for a diversion to take her mind off of the reason for her hasty return.  
How could that old woman have appointed that GIRL as her clerk without consulting me first, or anyone fro that matter! There was no protocol in place for Eliza to argue the appointment, however she planned to make the process of it as difficult as she could for Lady Denham and Miss Heywood. The last thing I need is that girl around turning Sidney’s head every time we have to go to Sanditon. No matter, we will be wed and with a baby soon enough and my worries will be over. She strode past the stalls selling food and drinks, her usual group of friends in tow. She planned to call on Sidney in the morning to inform him of her decision to dispute the appointment of Miss Heywood to manage any part of the Sanditon Development’s business affairs, when she spotted the man himself standing in the crowd with Lord and Lady Babington. Undecided as to whether or not she should make her presence known to him Eliza paused and watched him for a few moments.  
He was staring at something in the crowd, something she couldn’t see and she didn’t want to move forward because it would take her out of her concealing shadows into the light of the drink tent and her company. His face was so incredibly elated and despondent in the space of a breath. There was only one thing that could possibly make him look this way. Eliza knew immediately it was Charlotte Heywood. She also understood immediately the cause of why she had been neglected in her invitations to society gatherings for the little season, Lady Susan Worchester was at her side.  
Lady Susan, who was, no doubt, the cause for Eliza’s social ostracism. She had been furious at the lack of cards and invitations she had received since returning from Sanditon after the engagement and the Babington’s wedding. At the time she attributed it to the usual lull in activity before the start of the little season, but then, once it was in swing, she knew there was something else happening. She at first had assumed it was because Lady Worchester had felt slighted because of the way Eliza treated Miss Heywood at the Sanditon Regatta and used her social influence to bar her admission and favor amongst society. The fashionable world was all that Eliza had for the length and breadth of her marriage; she was not about to lose it now. Especially when her life was about to change so dramatically and under her design.  
Her fiancé and that girl were now looking at each other. Though she wanted to interfere, she could not deny her curiosity as to what they would do, if anything.

When their eyes met, Sydney felt himself involuntarily reaching out, he was gripping the sleeve of Lord Babington’s jacket before he realized it.  
“Well go on then,” Henry said with a smile and a tip of his head towards Charlotte, “Go say hello! I know we will.”  
“I…I cannot- I have no words…We haven’t seen each other or spoken since…” Sidney could not take his eyes off her because he feared she would disappear as she did each morning when he woke to face the day.  
“Besides, what must she think of me? These weeks of debauchery and apathy would be abhorrent to her. I do not deserve her kindness or pity.”  
“Dear Sydney,” this from Esther, “You must know that all these weeks we have been trying to allow you to meet with Miss Heywood by design because we know that there is something unfinished between the two of you? Why don’t you go say hello and ask her to dance? I know my own dear husband was just about to ask me to join him for the next waltz, were you not Henry?”  
“Indeed, my dear I was. Please send our regards to dear Lady Worchester and Miss Heywood, would you? See you on the dance floor.” And with a wink they were off, leaving an astonished Sidney Parker speechless and frozen in place. Still barely able to blink and yet managed to finally close his mouth.

“He seems to be coming this way now. Charlotte, what should you like to say to your Mr. Parker? Are you not pleased to see him at last before you return to Sanditon and begin your work? Ah! See there are Lord and Lady Babington! I should like to see them very much before they retire to their country estate again.”  
Lady Susan then took Charlottes arm and steered her towards Mr. Parker and the Babington’s just as the latter made off together towards the nearest dancefloor. The former was barely able to regain his countenance before the ladies joined him.  
“Ah dear Mr. Parker! How lovely to see you out and about! I cannot pretend to be sorry that your fiancé is not with you. She has injured my dear friend and I will not insult you by assuming an attitude of equal regard to how you must feel about her. Charlotte, were you not just saying how much you longed for a dance this evening? I’m sure Mr. Parker here would be glad to take you for a turn.”  
“Good evening ladies, it is lovely to see you both,” this looking directly at Charlotte. “Miss Heywood I would be delighted if you would do me the honor of dancing with me.”  
“I thank you Mr. Parker, but I am not inclined to dance. I fear your fiancé would not be pleased to learn you are being so incredibly civil with me given her obvious disregard for my feelings.”  
“Oh, come Charlotte, you are soon to leave London and back to the country! Surely you can spare the length of one song to your old friend here!” Lady Worchester would not relent and Charlotte knew it.  
“I should be very happy to dance Mr. Parker. Then I think I would like to return to Grosvenor Square Susan, I’m a bit tired and there is still much to do before I leave. There are several letters I need to respond to, including your architect Mr. Stringer.”  
“You write to him often, I understand. With matters pertaining to the building and Lady Denham’s business affairs.”  
“I do. He has been a dear friend and confidante to me these past weeks. And he shows wonderful promise as an architect and foreman.”  
“If you two are going to dance, I think I shall try my luck at finding some cakes, if you would be so kind as to escort her Mr. Parker.”  
“Of course, Miss Heywood,” he offered Charlotte his arm.  
Charlotte knew she was a nervous talker and could not keep herself from the habit now.  
“How are your wedding plans progressing Mr. Parker? I assume that with the actual date set you would be accompanying her this evening. Is she looking for refreshments?  
“No, Eliza is in the north applying herself to some important family matters. Our wedding preparations are still erring on the side of elaborate. And the date, well it will have to be postponed. I received news today from Antigua which will change our wedding timeline. I am obliged to leave as soon as possible to go to the West Indies and settle some important matters of business. Please, Miss Heywood, keep this to yourself. I have not even divulged this information to my dear family yet as I was only informed of its importance just this afternoon.” Pausing here, Sidney shook his head and smiled, “I don’t know why I told you all of this just now, it is not for you to be concerned with. I am sorry, Miss Heywood, I do not mean to impose on you with this information.”  
Charlotte looked up at him, her eyes were shining, “You know that you can trust me Mr. Parker. I would never betray a confidence.”  
“Yes of course, of course you are so…so very kind.” He stammered out as the music came to a close and the dancefloor cleared for the next set. It seemed to be a Cotillion which was one of Charlottes favorites, but she could not bring herself to smile. Even as Sidney was standing next to her, leading her by the hand to the dancefloor she felt herself to be further from him than ever before and found herself wishing she was far away. Far from remembering their time in London saving Georgianna, the last time they danced together at the masked rout; then again on the clifftops near Sanditon when she felt like her whole body was on fire with their kiss, all these memories were so far away and yet so dear that she felt her heart breaking and knitting together all at once.  
The music started, Sidney led her deftly across the dancefloor and she used their time together to memorize him. His smell, the roughness of his hands against the satin of her gloves and the silk of her waist, the cleft in his chin, the smile lines next to his eyes, the warm brown shot with green at their center glinting in the torchlight which now seemed to be… filling with tears. She watched his face, noting the thinness and the dark circles under his eyes; she wondered what had happened for him to look so pale and wan. Those eyes- so forthright and full of emotion which touched places in her heart which nothing ever had before, and now…now they seemed to be filling with a mixture of pain and love she felt more than saw the intensity of his gaze watching her just as closely. The fullness of his eyes matched the filling of her heart until she could bear no more and had to step away from the dance as soon as the first song was over leaving the set unfinished. She realized then that they had not spoken a word once the music began, but the intensity of the looks and the dancing were beyond measure of words. They both knew at that moment that there was so much unsaid between them that it would take more than this lifetime for it all to be spoken.  
Lady Worchester was speaking softly to the Babington’s but watching Charlotte closely, as was, unbeknownst to any of them, Mrs. Campion. Charlotte found a glass of lemonade.  
“Miss Heywood, I apologize for my manner. I suppose I misunderstood my own feelings enough that they pushed the boundaries of propriety. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to have imposed them upon you.”  
“You are mistaken Mr. Parker, you have not said or done anything to offend me. I think I am just over tired, and overwhelmed by the delights of this evening. I beg you would excuse me.”  
Turning then and making a direct path to Susan and the Babington’s and leaving Sidney, eyes downcast, wondering what he could have done to deserve such kindness from one he had wronged so deeply. A kiss, for a gentleman, is a contract. Miss Heywood could by any means of propriety request satisfaction of her honor, yet she made no demands upon him. Her manner and speech was nothing but gentle, understanding, honorable and without malice towards him. This tore at his heart more than anything. He wanted her to hate him for his choices, to rage at him, to seek vengeance through her father and his family; these things he could understand, but the infinite kindness and understanding was more than he could bear. He found himself longing for the sea voyage and hoped he could leave before Eliza returned from the north.

Eliza was confounded. There was nothing improper in Sidney’s behavior with Miss Heywood, if anything his manners were strictly formal and kind. His physical behavior towards her seemed nothing out of the ordinary, however Eliza knew him well enough to see the look in his eyes. She knew that there was more happening in their interaction than anyone else could possibly know. Resolving then to make her presence known to her fiancé she crossed the green and headed to the refreshment table by the dance floor where Sidney still stood staring off into the dark night sky. As she walked, she purposefully gave a saccharine smile and wave to Lady Worchester, the Babington’s, and Miss Heywood who observed here with a combined expression of malice, surprise, and hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind, this is NOT the end, for anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and patience! I truly appreciate every bit of encouragement!! And to answer your questions: No, this is not complete and I will update as often as I can/ Yes I am stuck at home but I am also working and homeschooling my kiddos which as many of you know is A LOT!! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this, and don't hate me when you get to the end...

Part Seven

Eliza took her time in giving Miss Heywood a nasty smile as she walked by. So much so, that when she turned again to face her fiancé he was gone. It seemed every gentleman in the whole of Vauxhall was wearing the same jacket and hat. Not wishing to look foolish she continued on towards the carriages and slowed her pace to seem more casual, knowing that he would likely be riding his horse back to Bedford Place and she planned to go there directly to meet him and discuss his behavior this evening.  
As she reached the main entrance and sent her man for her carriage, she suddenly felt a soft tap on her shoulder and came face to face with Charlotte Heywood.  
“Mrs. Campion,” she began and Eliza was too surprised to say anything as Charlotte continued, “I only wished to tell you that I am sorry.”  
Eliza laughed, “For heaven’s sake, I don’t care if you dance with Sidney! I won the race you pathetic creature. And I am certain that in time you will see that Sanditon is not for you either. My considerable investment—”  
“You misunderstand me I think,” Charlotte interrupted, “I have no designs on upsetting your future plans or your relationship with Mr. Parker.”  
Eliza’s face twisted with confusion and malice.  
“What I wished to say is this,” Charlotte continued calmly and clearly, “I am sorry for whatever has happened to you or what you have witnessed in your life which has so obviously hurt you.” She swallowed and went on, “I wish to say that I truly hope that you and Mr. Parker find happiness with one another, and that I am grateful to you.”  
Eliza shook her head in disbelief and confusion, “For what exactly.”  
Charlotte glanced over her shoulder and Eliza noticed that Lady Susan was headed in their direction.  
“My time here in London has been quite the education in human nature and especially the manners of upper society. Many of the people here are false to the point of deceiving even themselves. They put on kind manners and airs of friendship and reach for a knife behind your back; Mrs. Campion, you have always been straight forward in regards to your feelings for me and I appreciate and thank you for the honesty and consistency of your behavior. I truly do hope that you find in yourself and your upcoming marriage the love and happiness you require to mend your heart and life fully and love without constraint. I hope that this will clarify to you that I am no threat to your happiness and am dedicated to helping the works at Sanditon. Your future in-laws are dear to my heart and I have no ill will towards you or your investments. Please, allow me to continue working with Lady Denham and Mr. Tom Parker unhindered and I will be a most dedicated help. That is all, good evening Mrs. Campion.”  
With that Charlotte turned and joined her friend and patroness once more. Eliza was baffled. She expected a fight, a verbal tongue lashing or tears and upset from this simple country girl. The last thing she anticipated was pity, intelligence, and a depth of understanding regarding the human condition and behavior that was surprising in one so young. Eliza did not know how long she stood there with her gloved hand delicately touching her mouth and her other hand on her belly. What am I doing? Am I really going to force this unhappy union on one of the few people in my life who freely gave me his heart once and wished me happiness? Sidney is a good man, with a true heart and a loving family. She recalled her youthful relationship with Sidney and was instantly filled with regret. She had truly seen him as something to entertain and amuse herself with then, all the while keeping one eye on the potentiality of making a better financial match through marriage. Even now she wanted him because of his inherent goodness, she knew that once they were married and he found out about the pregnancy he would never question her, raise the child like his own, and be the best husband and father he was able to be regardless of his personal attachments or feelings on the matter. He was by far the most honorable man she had ever known which made him the perfect mark for her to use as a fool where her pregnancy was concerned.  
Can I truly use him as a fool for my own selfishness? Have they made me as bad as them? Her carriage pulled up and she alighted to the cushioned bench and gazed out the window. She had not invited her companions to join her for a ride home in her distraction- ah well. They will understand having witnessed the events of the evening. She decided to go to her home and leave Sidney be for the night and call on him in the morning. Her late husband would have woken her no matter the hour to reprimand her for any real or imagined slight, as would her family. Her mother and brothers knew nothing of the pregnancy, nor would they until after her wedding… A sudden weight hit her in the pit of her stomach like a lead ball.   
All the years she spent hating her family for the way they held her back, did not allow her to have her own life, made all decisions for her and would not concede any freedoms to her hit her like a punch in the stomach. How her late husband controlled every aspect of their life and would not grant her any power, even within the home of which she was mistress. In her heart she knew Sidney would not behave that way, but she truly did not wish to relinquish any of her newfound freedoms. She knew that even her closest acquaintances in London were merely sycophants who were only interested in furthering their own ambitions through her wealth and connections, yet it was harder than she imagined to consider abnegating their pernicious influence. She realized then that Charlotte was right. She had never truly known what it was like to love and be loved, truly other than with Sidney. When they first met, he had loved her and wanted to marry her, but it was young and innocent love with no understanding of what it would mean in the end.  
Eliza realized that not only had Charlotte hit the nail on the head as far as her shortcomings, but that what she wished for more than anything in the world was freedom and if she continued on this path of entrapping Sidney in a loveless marriage and a child that is not his own, she would effectually be doing to him exactly what her parents and former husband had done to her. In her heart she truly did care about Sidney, and she wanted to be free.  
In her personal bedchamber she continued thinking on the evening’s events as she changed into her night clothes. She found herself continually holding a hand on her abdomen as she pondered her life, her personal choices, and those which had been made for her. Sitting in a lovely brocade fainting couch in front of her sizeable fireplace she gazed at the painting over her mantlepiece. It was a landscape painting by a newer artist of the Italian countryside. She recalled how when her late husband had proposed he offered to take her on The Grand Tour of Europe for their honeymoon. One of many empty promises he made to her. Gazing at the rolling hillsides with tall cylindrical trees and vineyards she felt a deep longing to go there, to spread her wings and considerable wealth and strike out on her own. Of course, that was impossible, she was engaged to be married, she could not possibly remove her investment in Sanditon and travel now, not when so many people were depending on her. Soon there will certainly be one more person depending on me for everything… She stopped herself, realizing the time, she retired to her bed.  
Unable to sleep, Eliza tossed and turned until dawn. She couldn’t get Miss Heywood’s words out of her head and though she could make sense of them it was impossible for her to feel calm enough to rest. A thousand thoughts flew through her mind. She decided to get dressed early and go see Sidney. She had a plan in her mind and would have to wake her solicitor first to have some papers drawn up and signed if Sidney agreed to her idea. She hoped in her heart that this plan she held like a baby bird in her heart would appeal to Sidney, and from her observations of his behavior she had no doubt that he would be interested in at least part of it assuming she could persuade him to put any silly notions of honor for her sake aside.

“Are you alright Charlotte?”  
Charlotte looked across the carriage at Lady Susan, her eyes brimming with tears and wished she could do something, anything, to show her friend how grateful she was for everything that she had done for her.  
“Truly, I am well. To be completely honest, I feel better now than I have in months. I feel as though I have finally found some closure with both Mr. Parker and Mrs. Campion. I wish them well, truly I do, and I hope now that Mrs. Campion will not try to thwart my efforts to help with the Sanditon Building project.”  
“I only wish that you had been able to leave London with a better evenings entertainment to remember and not quite so much heartache.” Lady Susan smiled and took her friends hand.  
“Yes, though I honestly feel this was for the best. For all of us.”  
She then returned to looking out the window, willing the tears to stay back and hoping that this evening would mark the beginning of a new era for her and bring in new happiness since the old dreams have soundly been put to bed.   
This last thought almost brought the tears on, but Charlotte shut her eyes to the city lights and remembered the line of the sea at the beach in Sanditon; blue, grey, white, and brown all blurring at the edges. She thought of the sea wind on her cheeks, running fingers through her hair and pulling her skirts taught around her hips and legs. In her minds eye she stood at the water’s edge, cool waves lapping at her toes. She could feel the pebbles in the sand under her feet. Charlotte had not truly realized until this moment how much she missed the seaside town and her stomach fluttered with excitement to go back there tomorrow. In her minds eye the line of the ocean was so soothing she let her thoughts drift here and there, imagining driftwood, bits of shell on the beach, then a boot. A boot? What is this doing… A large splash rocked her senses behind her and as she turned, she saw Sidney coming out of the water then she jolted herself awake.  
The carriage was pulling up in front of Lady Susan’s palatial home. I guess some things will be harder to forget than others… She was glad of the darkness in the carriage then for she felt herself blush as the carriage stopped and their short journey was over.  
**

Sidney woke at the White Club sober for the first time in months, he dressed, had a quick breakfast and headed to the office of his solicitor. He had to set certain matters straight before he could agree to booking passage to Antigua. He mounted and rode through the early morning streets of London with a heavy heart. He knew that this journey would only delay the inevitable and wished that he would find there some other reason to stay in Antigua longer than he anticipated now. As he rode, he allowed himself to remember what it felt like to hold Charlotte the night before, the softness of her hands and hips, the gentle curve of her shoulder and neck, her scent, which he finally realized last night was like green willow and lilac. His mind was full of contradictions now more than ever; he wanted to be with her, but he was obliged to Eliza for the security of his loved ones. He wished he could let her memory go, but he found himself admiring her now more than ever. Sidney shook his head but he could not get her soft brown eyes out of his mind. How elegant and mature she looked last night in the torchlights of the gardens, her sweet and noble words to him. She could not hide from him how hard it was for her to be strong, yet her eyes glassed over with unshed tears.  
Arriving at the solicitor he gave over his reins to his man and entered the building. In the front waiting area, he saw his solicitor speaking to a tall dark-haired man Sidney had never seen before. He was a gentleman certainly and had an air of superiority about him, though his eyes sparkled with good nature and happiness.  
“Ah Mr. Parker! I am truly happy to see you and at such a fortuitous moment! Let me introduce you to Mr. Darcy here, he and his lovely wife expressed a desire to invest in the building of Sanditon Town and it will only promote you and your fiancé’s own investments!”  
Sidney was a bit flustered but managed to speak nonetheless, “I am most gratified to meet you sir! And obliged to you for your investment! Might I ask how you came to know about Sanditon and the possibility of investing there?”  
“I’m delighted to meet you Mr. Parker,” said Mr. Darcy with a smile, “My wife is great friends with Lady Susan Worchester and heard she was building a summer home there. Upon longer discussions we decided that it would be in our great interest to do the same and promote the town itself to our acquaintance as well after visiting it a few weeks ago. Upon realizing its potential and beauty, as well as seeing firsthand how many people were keen to visit, we decided to invest.”  
“Well this is wonderful news! I look forward to seeing you in Sanditon, though it will be some time before that for me I’m afraid.”  
Mr. Parker’s solicitor a Mr. Manning then stepped forward and said, “Shall we wait for Mrs. Campion to sit down Mr. Parker? Or are you here to speak to me on personal matters? She sent an early note saying she would be here in quarter of an hour if you care to wait...”  
“No,” Sidney said abruptly, thoroughly surprised to learn she was in London, “I beg your pardon, but my business has nothing to do with Mrs. Campion or our engagement and I would prefer to keep it that way for the time being. As such, Mr. Darcy it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance and I look forward to seeing you and meeting your dear wife in Sanditon next summer.”   
“And you as well sir, Mr. Manning, Mr. Parker, good day to you both!” Mr. Darcy said cordially as he returned his tall hat to his head and made for the door.  
Sidney turned to Mr. Manning, “Did Mrs. Campion say the reason for her visit?”  
“She did not sir, though the language of the note made it seem like a matter of great urgency.”  
The gentlemen moved into Mr. Manning’s office and he shut the door.  
“Well, regardless I’m sure she and I will talk of it at one point or another. Mr. Manning, it has come to pass that I must return to Antigua as soon as possible to secure Miss Lamb and mine own fortunes. There has been another outbreak of disease and as you know, finding overseers and plantation managers akin to my own philosophies is no easy task. Therefore, my wedding must be delayed. I have not yet spoken personally to Mrs. Campion about this, in fact I am surprised to hear she is in the city, I thought her stay in the north to last at least a few weeks more. Regardless, I shall apprise her of my situation today. More importantly however, I need to assure that Miss Lamb’s accounts especially are taken care of in my absence and that she and my business associates are informed of my situation, the need to leave is most pressing I’m afraid and I must leave by ship by the end of the week before the winter storms make the crossing impossible.”  
“Yes of course, this is quite sudden and dangerous to be sure, I can take care of these responsibilities for you for my usual fee. I hope the business taking you from us will not detain you for too long, I’m sure Mrs. Campion will be very disappointed to hear this news today, shall you wait for her here?”  
“I’m afraid not, I must make arrangements to travel to Cornwall via Sanditon as soon as possible for the same reasons. I shall take the time to speak with Mrs. Campion before I leave today.”   
Then he stood and shook Mr. Manning’s hand and made his exit quickly in hopes of avoiding a scene in the office. He found he needed to collect his thoughts before he was to confront Eliza with this news and he knew that she would be most seriously displeased. Before he realized it he had directed his horse to Grosvenor Square and was looking up at the home of Lady Susan Worchester. He could see her carriage out front being loaded with trunks, he wondered to himself where the ladies were headed. He stopped and dismounted handing his reins to the page outside and mounted the alabaster stairs just as Lady Susan and Miss Heywood were stepping out.  
“Good morning ladies,” Sidney began before they could speak, “Miss Heywood, could you spare a moment?  
As he spoke Lady Susan tried to spare them some privacy and went to oversee the order and placement of Charlotte’s trunks, as well as to sneak a small parcel into the carriage.  
“I have come to thank you Miss Heywood, first for the dance last night and second for your constant kindness and understanding of all things which umm…cannot be spoken. Much has transpired these past days and I must away immediately to Antigua. I had to see you before I leave for Cornwall.”   
“I should think,” Charlotte began, “That the journey should be quite dangerous this time of year especially, though there may be less danger from the French. What takes you away? I’m sure Mrs. Campion must be terribly disappointed. She seemed quite upset last night at the Vauxhall when we spoke.”  
Sidney started, “She was there last night? And she spoke to you? I must apologize to you again for her behavior—”   
“No that was not the way of it, at least, not in the end. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now.”  
“Miss Heywood, Charlotte,” He lowered his voice and took a small step towards her. Just close enough that he could feel her warm, sweet breath on the chilled morning air. “If anything happens to me, I just want you to know for certain that no matter what happens, you have my highest and truest regard and admiration. There is no other person in the world who could possibly fill me with so much hope for the goodness inherently possible in people and for that I thank you as well.” Sidney felt the tears burning the back of his throat and paused to swallow heavily.  
“Mr. Parker, I wish I could tell you what your words mean to me but I fear it would not be right given our situations and relationship. Please know however, that they fill me with joy to know that I have been a positive force in one life at least. I beg you to take every precaution on your journey, and do not take unnecessary risks, as much for Georgianna’s sake as for your own; and perhaps a bit for my own sake as well… I wish only to think of you as being hale and happy, and wish for nothing more than your continued and everlasting happiness.”  
Lady Susan came to her then, “It is time my dear.”  
“Are you headed back to Willingden then?” As they slowly turned and walked towards the carriage as if they did not wish to part company, as though the forthcoming distance of the ocean were already beginning between them.  
“At first, then to Denham House to take up work as a clerk for Lady Denham and your brother Mr. Tom Parker.”  
Sidney smiled and felt the tears abate some, “I am glad to hear it. I truly hope that your keen mind and bright smile will bring some much-needed sanity and brevity to the works there. I shall likely be through Sanditon on the way to Cornwall by the end of the week as well.” He took her hand then to assist her into the carriage, and allowed himself to give it a light squeeze. Just enough to feel the warmth of her hand inside her glove. He looked her in the eyes, memorizing her face one last time. “Have a safe journey Miss Heywood.”  
“And you as well Mr. Parker, Sidney..” She whispered the last. As he turned and assisted Lady Susan as well.  
He stood there, holding the reins of his horse, watching the carriage disappear into London’s foggy streets until he felt confident that he would find Mrs. Campion once again at her house and made to go tell her his news as well.

Eliza returned home and found Sidney waiting for her. Mr. Manning had informed her of his visit just prior to hers that morning though he would not divulge the particulars to her, saying simply that he wished to tell her himself and he felt that their mutual plans would coincide amicably. She found her fiancé in the drawing room with a cup of coffee and toast reading the paper, waiting patiently for her return.   
“Good morning Sidney,” she began, “I have some business to discuss with you.”  
“As do I,” he said, “I’m afraid I have some bad news. I must away to Antigua as soon as possible. There was another grave bout of sickness and I must choose new management for mine and Georgianna’s plantations at once. My solicitor there is quite overwhelmed with local politics and is not up to the task himself.”  
Eliza could not help herself but she smiled broadly and let out a laugh, then giggled like a school girl. Sidney was befuddled.  
“Eliza, are…are you well? I daresay this was not quite the response I was expecting.”   
“I should imagine not!” She said laughing again, “forgive me, it is the irony of how your news coincides with what I have to tell you that makes me laugh.”  
“And how is that, pray?”  
“I am sorry that you have to leave England again, truly, and on such a troublesome errand as well, but I hope there may be some way for you to postpone it, at least until the spring.”  
“Eliza I am sorry but the wedding must be postponed. This business cannot wait for a ship in the spring. I must leave as soon as possible. I am truly sorry to upset the plans you have already made, but surely they can be postponed.”  
“Sidney, that is not—I mean I wish you could stay for your own benefit, not for our wedding.”  
“I don’t understand your meaning.”  
She came and sat opposite him next to the tea table and poured herself some tea thinking to herself how kind it was for him to order it for her as well as coffee for himself.  
“Sidney, I shall not toy with you any longer and I shall speak as plainly as possible: I wish to end our engagement.”  
Sidney was flabbergasted, this was quite literally the very last thing he expected from her.  
“There are several reasons for this, the foremost being that I wish to break a pattern of misuse which began when I was young and until recently, I thought was the way everyone behaved. I came to this realization because of two things: first I must tell you of something quite shocking, and I must beg of you to not interrupt me and let me finish before you speak.”  
Sidney nodded and she began. She told him of her upbringing, her family, their treatment of her, their encouragement of her slights towards Sidney when they were young. Of her unhappy marriage and her feelings of elation when he died. Her summer evening at the masquerade and the result, her decision to marry him, and finally of her conversation with Miss Heywood the night before. Sidney sat quietly and was able to maintain his decorum as she told him this troubling history. He was surprised at her behavior, and completely taken with Charlottes words and the effect they had upon Eliza. When she finished, he looked up at her, blue eyes bright with tears and looking at him expectantly. Yet before he could speak, she continued:   
“So,” she continued quietly, “My plan is this: I have signed over the management of my Sanditon investment to you. I wish for you to maintain the works as needed and you may decide whether to pay the investment back to me over time or keep it in perpetuity. Consider it my apology for deceiving you and my parting gift to your future happiness. Secondly, I am planning to travel abroad while I have my child. I can say he or she is adopted if asked but to be honest, I am a single woman of means and I realized that worrying of what others think of me has only been detrimental to my happiness and I refuse to give it my attention or time ever again. Lastly, and most importantly: Sidney, I ask you to be honest with yourself at last; you are in love with Miss Heywood, and she with you. Go to her and be happy- That is my only requirement of you. I have already posted a sincere apology to her regarding my behavior which I hope she takes to heart. Please Sidney, take my investment and use the money to rebuild your own fortunes here, sell your estates in Antigua and move on in safety with your loved ones. That is my wish, and I truly hope that you can bring yourself to find your peace as I now have.”  
“Eliza, I—” Sidney could not speak. He was so moved not only by Eliza’s words but by the timing of his life, how all of these circumstances built together to reach this point in his life.  
“Sidney, I will brook no refusal. You must go now and seize your future happiness, whatever you decide that may be, though I hope your road ends at the seaside.”  
She stood, and rang the bell for her man to prepare Sidney’s horse. Sidney stood and took her hand as he made to leave, “Eliza I hardly know what to think or say- you have quite surprised me and I must admit I was anticipating a very different conversation with you this morning. I wish you so much happiness as well. Please write to me often, I would love to hear how your life progresses.”  
She removed her gloves and gave him her engagement ring and said with a wink, “Take this, exchange it for a different one.”   
Sidney smiled.  
“I do believe that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile since the Sanditon Regatta.”  
“Be well Eliza, and truly, I shall find a way to repay your kindness to my family and myself, though they do not yet know to whom they are indebted.” He then tipped his hat and went out to the foggy morning again.  
As he stepped down to the street, Sidney felt as though the weight of oceans was gradually lifting from his chest. As he waited on the sidewalk for the groom to come around with his horse he looked to the sky and could see the sun blazing above the foggy streets and realized he needed to do some business again, and immediately.  
After mounting and gaining a trot towards his home and favorite jeweler the sun burst through and warmed his shoulders immediately. Sidney’s thoughts were racing, he couldn’t wrap his mind entirely around the past twenty-four hours and wondered when or if he ever would. He felt dizzy, light, elated and absolutely at odds with how he woke just one day prior. He was so distracted he did not see the milk cart before him, he did not see the child run across the street in front of him, run in front of his horse who reared at the last minute. Sidney lost his seat, and his last thought was of Charlotte’s eyes then he saw no more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Thank you so much to all my dear readers! I promise I will keep at this until there is a true and fulfilling ending, though not yet, not for a while yet ;) If you can, please read this portion especially on Wattpad- the formatting here did not allow me to italicize where I want to for effect... I cannot truly thank you all enough for all the encouragement! From the bottom of my heart, Thank You!!)

The fresh October wind carried salty sea spray high into the air, up over the cliff tops, into the ice plants and scrub heather to frost the unruly curls sliding out from underneath Charlotte’s bonnet. Dawn was rising rosy fingered and misty over the hills to the east, warming her cheeks and lighting the mist of her breath in front of her to bright gold as she breathed deep of the sea fog mixed with the fire smoke of town signaling the colder mornings and shorter days to come. She could make out the shadows of clouds far out onto the surface of the sea through the light fog. Morning was her favorite time of day, especially by the seaside. The angle of light turned nearly everything from pink and orange, to burnished gold as the sun rises, warming the land and all who live upon it. The field laborers in the area were working hard on what remained of the harvest and in a few days the townsfolk of Sanditon were to hold a ball to celebrate the changing season. Although Lady Denham had included a small carriage as part of her living allowances at Denham House Charlotte loved her morning walks by the shore, especially today to visit Tom, Mary, and the children for breakfast; being the first of what she knew would be many Wednesday morning appointments with them. Charlotte was so heartened to be back in Sanditon. She still felt as though she couldn’t believe she was here, it seemed like ages ago that she was here staying with the Parkers for the summer. Charlotte shook her head and marched forward, smiling at the grasses frosted over from the nights chill just now beginning to thaw in the gentle warmth of the morning sun. As the clifftop path joined with the busier town lane Charlotte couldn’t help but be excited about the future laid before her. Employment which not only stimulated her intellectually but that she enjoyed immensely. Denham House, though in need of some attentions, was still a lovely home, ten times larger than she had anticipated, and much more easily remedied than she had at first suspected. Mr. Stringer had come by before she arrived and made a list of what needed to be done and with what urgency with Lady Denham’s express instructions to bring the home back up to snuff after the apathetic ministrations of her nephew’s stay there during the summer. As she approached Trafalgar House she was surprised by the commotion of footmen out front. She spotted Mary directing a servant to the now approaching carriage.

“Good Morning Mary! Am I too early? Or did I mark the wrong day?”

“Goodness me! Oh, my dearest Charlotte! I am so very sorry to have today be as it is now…”

“But what has happened? Surely it cannot be so urgent as to take us from our breakfast and beach walk with the children!”

She pulled Charlotte inside the home and into the sitting room and a warm fireside, calling for tea and toast before walking over to two chairs near the fire with a tea table between.

“There has been an accident, I do not know how serious it was I’m afraid. We only got the note first thing this morning and all it said was that Sidney fell from his horse in London and is in serious condition. The note was from Sidney’s solicitor and he said there was more imperative news that Tom must attend to as well.”

Charlotte was staring off into oblivion. The latter half of Mary’s brief speech was lost to her as she could not believe what she had heard; Sidney was hurt, but alive? Her stomach became a lead weight and she was glad of the chair behind her as her knees went weak and she half collapsed onto it.

“What on earth happened?”

“I do not know; all we have heard is that he was riding in town a few days ago and lost his seat in the middle of the street. He is alive, but unconscious, Tom and Arthur are headed to London now to be with him and the children and I are to follow in a few days. Sidney has been taken to Bedford Place and has been installed in his rooms with the constant supervision of Doctor Fuchs. His solicitor wrote to inform Tom of some changes in the funding of Sanditon with regard to Mrs. Campion’s investments but I do not know more than that. I am so sorry to tell you of this my dear, I hoped that you two would be able to make some kind of amends but as it stands…”

“Oh Mary, this is dreadful news. Poor Sidney! Mrs. Campion must be beside herself.”

“Well, the one thing that Sidney’s lawyer told us was that the engagement was cancelled. When Sidney was found, he had Eliza’s engagement ring in his pocket, and Mrs. Campion is set to sail to the continent by the end of the week.”

“Then they…. they are not engaged?”

“No, my dear, I do not know why or how they came to that decision, and though I am happy for Sidney as we all knew it was a marriage for convenience not love, I worry so for Tom and Sanditon. If she pulls out her investment, we will be ruined.”

“Not necessarily… Lady Worchester has invested a considerable sum to build her summer home here on the coast, and her friends the Darcy’s have done the same. Once they see the charm of this place, and their acquaintance comes to stay and see it, I’m sure they will all wish to invest as well. Also, I’m sure you know that having Lady Worchester here will surely attract the Prince Regent to visit. Surely that could be enough to have hopes of saving Sanditon with or without Mrs. Campion.”

“I hope you are right, though I’ve never had a head for figures. Here comes Tom, let’s see him off.”

Tom Parker strode through the entryway with a seriously concerned look on his face.

“Ah Miss Heywood, it is good to see you! Though I wish our meeting today could have been on a more auspicious occasion. My dearest Mary, I feel it might be best for you and the children to stay here. If Sidney is in need of convalescence, having the children there would be counter intuitive. I promise to take care of him, and if he is able to travel, I shall bring him here as soon as I can. I shall take only my stallion for I can travel faster that way and will be at Bedford Place by tomorrow noon. Take care my love, and take heart, the mode of the letter from Sidney’s solicitor was not one of warning and fear, but of hope for the future and concern for Sidney. I will send word of his condition and my arrival as soon as possible.”

He held Mary’s hands in his and kissed them both before kissing her soundly and reaching for his overcoat and hat.

“Miss Heywood, keep my dear family company in my absence, and do not fret. I will see to everything as much as I am able. Please inform Lady Denham of our situation as well, I shall write to her of the particulars from London. I shall miss you all very much! Farewell!”

They all stepped outside and Tom mounted and was off with a wave.

“Tom hates goodbyes.” Mary had a tear in her eye, “And to be honest I do too. They make everything so much sadder than it needs be.”

“I fear that I may be in shock, I think.” Charlotte began, “I don’t know what to say, how to feel, or what to think. If, indeed Mr. Parker has ended his engagement to Mrs. Campion then there must be something important at work. And although I wish them both happiness, I have a hard time believing that she would just let him go with how forceful her behavior has been.”

Charlotte did stay and take tea and luncheon with Mary and the children, then they all took a walk into the dunes to the beach. The endless beauty of the sea had become so much of a comfort to Charlotte that she immediately felt more grounded and calmer once she beheld it. Today the sky was a brilliant cerulean blue which faded white where the sky met the sea. The line between the two blurred in grey and white then the sea was a deep navy grey and emerald green. With no clouds in the sky Charlotte soon wished she had waited for her maid to put her hair up off her shoulders for her, the heat in the dunes was pressing, but soon enough cool tendrils of wind came curling off the waves to their cheeks. They found an empty pavilion and watched the children as they ran in and out of the surf in their bare feet and started building a sand castle. Mary realized that neither of them had spoken of the current events since Tom had left. She turned to Charlotte, lips parted with words half formed upon them and stopped, Charlotte was crying; quietly, sincerely, and staring out at the sea with a small smile on her face. She then closed her eyes and dried her tears with the handkerchief from her purse. Mary smiled, not wishing to draw attention to her friend in her private moment of feeling. Instead she was comforted that Charlotte felt enough at ease in her presence to allow that much emotion to show through her external decorum.

Waves crashing, the distant cries of gulls, children laughing, the rustling of Mary’s skirts as she shifts in her seat, the quite sound of lemonade pouring as the maid serves the refreshments… He’s not engaged…not engaged…and he’s hurt. Is this to be the way of my life? To have the possibility of happiness within reach only to have it snatched away at the last moment. The laughter of the children broke her from her reverie and she looked to the sky. The deepest blue broken by baubles of white and grey. A fog bank was starting to roll in and the chill of winter was on the wind even with the bright sunshine. Charlotte felt a deep sense of something else impending on the horizon, what it was she did not know, but in her bones she knew something was coming. Her walk back to Denham Place was long and she would have gone first to Sanditon House to see Lady Denham first but with the days growing shorter she knew it was time for her to go home. She couldn’t stop thinking about what it could mean if Mrs. Campion withdrew her investment. When she was back in her office, she grimaced at the stack of correspondence waiting on her desk. Without touching it she first wrote a note to Lady Denham, explaining what she knew about the situation with the Parkers and promising to visit her in the morning to discuss it. Sending a footman off with the note she then started through the pile of letters, stopping only to pick at a roll and a bowl of stew that her maid insisted she attempt to eat. The first two were letters from building and landscaping suppliers listing the materials they could supply now and what must wait until springtime. The third letter had no return address and was written, without a doubt, by a woman. She cracked the seal with a furrowed brow, it was from Mrs. Campion.

_Miss Charlotte Heywood,_

_There are many places where I could begin this letter, but it seems only fitting to do so with an apology. There is no excuse for my behavior towards you, nothing I could ever say or do from here on could possibly make up for the impudent words and manner that have been my mask for longer than I care to admit towards far too many people including yourself; for all these offenses and many more I am truly sorry. This is especially important due to the fact that you saved my life last summer; I never thanked you for that, and at the time I was angry at you for it which is another story altogether. Regardless of all the other reasons for delay or silence, I am truly sorry for how I have treated you in every way, not just in this matter, and I hope that someday you believe me and that maybe we could treat each other socially with equanimity. I should tell you now that only Sidney knows any of the things I will tell you in this letter, and I would appreciate your discretion on these matters, although I know I have no grounds to ask it of you._

_At the time of the drowning incident I must admit to you that I was feeling particularly hopeless and a part of me had stopped fighting for whatever life God had given me. I behaved carelessly after my late husband passed and was in a position of personal ruination and disgrace in which I thought at the time there was no way out of other than to marry Sidney. When I felt myself slipping deeper into that water it gave me a sense of peace, but when I awoke on the beach and was informed that not only was I alive, but my rescuer was you, it triggered an animosity so deep that I could barely control the emotion as it overtook all my senses. Instead of thanking you for the second chance at life for not only myself, I resented you for bringing me back to a reality in which I was not proud of my behavior and where the choices I had made were not ones to be proud of. The primary was my indiscretions after Mr. Campion died which left me in a family way, and the second was to convincing Sidney to marry me in order to save Sanditon and his brother from debtor’s prison without informing him of the baby. Now I think you understand my insistence on the haste of our nuptials, for his sake and that of my child. I do not tell you these things in an effort to garner pity from you, but I wish you to know the entirety of my situation and the reasons behind the choices I made._

_When you spoke to me so boldly at Vauxhall, your words struck a chord, one so deep that I was finally able to understand why I respond to situations and people in the way that I do. I was never taught how to love, or be loved. There was no caring, empathy, or true affection in my upbringing. I was only shown how to manipulate, to make people dependent on me for one thing or another, and to use that dependence to my own advantage. I manipulated my late husband into disinheriting his relations and leave the entirety of his fortune to me because he thought I had a medical condition necessitating the financial obligation he could offer by inheritance. I have been a horrible creature, I have used those who I have cared for in the worst possible ways, and one of those people was Sidney. He agreed to marry me with no knowledge of the baby, and I know that the only reason he agreed was to save his family from ruination. Sidney does not love me, Charlotte, and I don’t think he ever will, not in the way he loves you. I resented you for that as well. I could see in his eyes the respect and admiration of true affection whenever he looked at you, when anyone would speak of you, and whenever he and I quarreled about your appointment as clerk to the Sanditon Project. All the while I understood that our destinies were entwined in a way that I could not ignore and that in one way or another. With that in mind I wish to tell you about my decision regarding Sidney and the engagement._

_I came to the conclusion, after our last encounter, that the only thing I ever truly wanted in this world was to have one person who truly loved me for me; not for my money, my connections, or my face but for my whole self and that alone. In my heart I knew that Sidney would never be that person, even with how much I wished he would be, but I also realized that I would have another chance for that kind of love and affection in an unexpected place. My child is a reality that I have come to the best of terms with. I am determined to make something wholly good out of a hasty and imprudent decision. I shall travel to the continent and have my baby in Italy where I could say he or she was adopted, but I think instead I will inform the father that he has an heir which would be a matter of great interest to his aunt and your employer, Lady Denham but only after a safe birth and our return to England._

_Now I come to my plans regarding my investment in the Sanditon Building Project. I have already informed my solicitor of all these matters and he will have contracts drawn up for me to sign before my departure, then they will be sent to you and Sidney and Lady Denham for approval and signature as well. This is another way for me to reach out in friendship to you by informing you of my choices. I have left my investment, all eighty thousand pounds under the care and direct supervision of Sidney. Half the sum is to be his, as recompense for the falsehoods upon which our engagement was founded, and also as an apology to you all for my horrid behaviors, and the other half will be paid back to me unless a situation arises where it can be paid off immediately. There is no rush for the money to be repaid to me, but I know that Sidney will not wish to keep that money if it is not needed. I wish for you to continue on in your post for as long as you like, as such I have set aside an annuity, and for a portion of the investment to belong solely to you upon your marriage or if you ever have need of leaving the business._

_I understand how much I am asking of you to forgive me all these things, and I do not expect it to happen soon, or ever to be true, but I do hope that I can convince you to accept my help and friendship in the future. When you told me that you wished me to be happy, I thought at first that you meant it in jest. It took me some time to realize that it was your way of letting go of all of us. Once I had come to these conclusions I worried that I was too late in my actions for you and Sidney to take this chance to be happy, together, as you should have been from the start. When I learned that you had taken up the position offered to you by Lady Denham, I knew there was still a chance of making this all right again. All future correspondence shall be directed to my solicitor in London, as I shall be traveling for a good many weeks before I shall be able to receive or respond to any post. I leave you with the same wish that you left me Miss Heywood, please be happy, and do so with my full support, consent, and desire for it to be so- not that you would ever need it, but know it is there all the same._

_Regards, Eliza Campion_

*** Bedford Place, London

“So you mean to tell me that Sidney has no idea of who or where he is?”

“Mr. Parker, your brother has suffered a severe head injury, he will be lucky to be able to walk again without assistance let alone remember his own name. Though he has only regained consciousness the one time since his accident I can tell you that he does not know his name, his family name, nor his home at the moment. These types of injuries are completely unpredictable however and I cannot speculate as to how much he will regain or how long it will take.”

Tom paced in the sitting room and finally poured a glass of brandy and drank it in one long swallow. He had delayed writing to Mary when he arrived because he was waiting for Dr. Fuchs to finish his examination.

“Of course, doctor, and you must stay here, to look after my brother. I shall have rooms made up for you and your man. However, you must excuse me, I must write to my wife and let her know I arrived in safety and what Sidney’s prognosis is as of now.”

“Ah, Mr. Parker, I would advise you to delay on the latter as again, with these types of injuries the patients’ condition can change quite rapidly, and the first two or three days are critical. There appears to be no swelling or extreme pressure on the section of Mr. Sidney’s head where the main injury is so I feel it is safe to say that he will survive, but again, the first few days are very dangerous. If you must write, tell her that you are safe and that it will take time to know how serious Mr. Sidney’s injuries are.”

Tom immediately thought of Charlotte and how pale she looked as he was riding off from Trafalgar House. He wondered if what Mary had told him was true, were she and Sidney still in love with one another? Regardless, he must take care of matters here and now, he would write to Mary now apprising her of his safe arrival in London and would update her on Sidney’s condition in a few days.

**

_Pounding, splitting headache- bright white and black spots of light whenever he opened his eyes…. Sidney could barely raise his arm to put his hand to his forehead… Someone was trying to talk to him, but his mouth felt fuzzy, as though his words would not connect between his brain and his lips… Where am I? Who is this man talking to me and prodding me with instruments? Why is there another man behind him watching us both with such focus and concern…? Who is he? I know him…why do I know him? “Where am I?” There I got something out finally which makes sense. Bedford Place? What is Bedford Place? And who is Sidney? Why does he want to know what I was doing before the accident? Accident…yes! I was on my horse, and I was going…where was I going? I was going somewhere for Charlotte…Who is Charlotte? Blast…my head is splitting and I cannot keep my eyes open any longer…_

“Well Mr. Parker that is a good sign.”

“How so?”

“He is still of a sound enough mind to wonder what is happening around him and I distinctly heard him say, ‘Charlotte’ before he fell asleep again. Do you know who this could be? Perhaps we should send for her if you do.”

“Yes. Yes of course, I do believe I do know who he might mean.”

With that Tom turned on his heel and left the bedroom and went directly to his desk to write to Mary and Miss Heywood requesting that she join him here in London.

**

Miss Georgianna Lamb received more mail in one morning that day than she had in a week! The first was from Charlotte, informing her friend that she had arrived safely back in Sanditon and how she felt about her new home at Denham Place, Georgianna decided she must make time to visit her friend soon. Sanditon wasn’t so bad with a good friend at her side, and she remembered a particularly handsome gentleman at the midsummer ball who could potentially make the trip worthwhile. Her next letter was from Sidney, informing her that he would soon have to sail for Antigua or abandon their investments there. How abrupt and shocking! This would surely make Mrs. Campion angry, she thought this with a smile, how sad for all her plans to be upended once again. Then there was another letter from Sidney’s solicitor, only it wasn’t from the solicitor himself, but from his clerk, informing her that Sidney had been injured and had been taken to Bedford Place… Georgiana immediately searched out her cloak and her bonnet and called for the carriage. Forgetting any prior animosity towards her guardian she made utmost haste to his side and to be with him and his family, her family.

Each time Sidney opened his eyes it was excruciating. So many questions, so many faces, so many expectations from people of whom he had no memories. And although they were not there, in his heart he DID know the faces, just not WHY he knew them or from WHERE. It had been three days (as far as he could tell anyway) from the first time he had opened his eyes until now. It was morning, the sunlight flooding the bedroom he stayed confined in so he kept his eyes shut. Not confined in a bad way, but more because he was having a hard time walking and still did not understand why everyone was so upset that he couldn’t remember certain things. In fact, there was only one thing he could remember, one name that haunted him day and night, Charlotte. Who was she and why was she the only thing he could remember? That name was the one solid fact he held in his heart with regard to who he is or was before he fell from his horse. The doctor had told him he reigned in his horse abruptly in order to not run down a child in the street and lost his seat, then hit his head soundly on the cobblestones outside the Royal Exchange. The only things he carried with him were the business card of what turned out to be his solicitor, and a small box with an engagement ring inside it. They had showed the ring to him and he knew that the ring did not belong to Charlotte, whoever she was, though he couldn’t remember who it did belong to.

Though his eyes were still closed he could hear someone busying themselves inside his room, building up the fire, folding linens, picking up laundry, shifting chairs about. There was a soft knock at the door, murmuring voices, one huskier and deeper of a man, it sounded like the one who claimed to be his brother, Tom. And another softer, so light that he could not make out the words of the conversation, but he heard the door open, the rustle of skirts, then a soft intake of breath before he felt someone sit on the bed next to him and take his hand. There were two hands holding his one, they were cool and soft, but had callouses on the particular fingers meaning the person holding his hand spent a great deal of time writing. Another light knock at the door and he felt his guest stand, he heard his normal maid bring in a breakfast tray with tea and coffee. He had found yesterday that he definitely preferred coffee to tea, though he was still unsure where the preference had come from. He had remembered his horse’s name later last night after supper, and recognized that Bedford Place was his family home as well, though he was having a hard time with his remaining family member.

He heard the maid leave and decided to peek at who this mystery person in his room was who seemed to be on familiar terms with him. When he opened his eyes he blinked twice, three times, the sunlight was very bright. It was lighting up his guests hair like a golden halo around her. He could only see her hair and her dress from this angle. Her hair was a soft chocolate brown, curled and pinned to great advantage to show off her neckline and décolletage in her light blue day dress. She wore no gloves, and as she poured herself some tea she hummed a song that sounded far off but familiar to him. Unobserved by her, he watched as she fixed her cup, then turned to his, seemingly knowing he preferred coffee, and also knowing precisely how he liked it he watched as she added two sugars and no cream, stirred it, then tasted it to make sure it was right. She had turned enough so that he could see her profile now, she had petite features but was well proportioned. Her frame was athletic, but had plenty of mature womanly curves so that he could well imagine what she kept under her bodice, and her manners were gentle and elegant. As though she could feel his eyes upon her she turned and looked at him. The weight of her gaze caught him by surprise. Her eyes were a lighter shade of brown than her hair, but the angle of the early morning light caught them on the side and made them light up from within with golden flakes around the pupil. Sidney felt his breath catch in his throat, _I know this woman, I KNOW her!_ His coffee still in her hands she walked towards the bed.

“Can you sit up? Or do you need me to help you?”

He shook his head no, somehow his words were still not forming correctly when he tried to speak. It generally came out as mumbling except for a few names, yes, and no. Even those took time each day to come correctly. Such a frustrating business, especially since he could not write what he intended to say either. He could barely hold a cup or spoon, let alone a quill. She approached the bed and he found himself sitting upright faster and easier than he could remember having been able to do yesterday. She handed him the cup.

“Be careful, it’s still hot.”

“Thank you.”

She jumped a little at his words and gave him a wide eyed, questioning look. They must have told her that I’m not speaking well. Perhaps I was just waiting for the right person. She returned to the breakfast tray and retrieved her teacup and saucer. He found that in her presence he could hold his own without shaking even the tiniest bit, so he took a sip of the steaming black brew. _Mmm. Perfect.._

With her own cup in hand she made he way towards a chair near his bed and facing him.

“Would you care for your breakfast now?”

“No, thank you.”

Three words in a row! That felt good! She put down her tea and picked up a slim volume from the nearby table and began to read to him:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

_Oh no! It is an ever-fixed mark_

She had stopped and was looking at him, _did I say that out loud?_

“Which looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose work’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s hot Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error upon me proved,

Then I never writ, nor man ever loved.”

She stopped and closed her eyes. He could see the trails of tears on her cheeks and he reached out to her. Memories began flooding his mind. Quarrels, adventures, the gentle bloom of love and affection, love denied and fate intervening. He could not remember everything, and could only put it all into one word to tell her that he understood.

“Charlotte…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize profusely about how long its taking me to get these chapters out! I'm working two jobs and have a family so the "me time" isn't really a part of the equation that gets much of the pie. But I promise to see this through to the end!!

(Two weeks prior in Sanditon)

Charlotte looked out at line of the horizon and wept. _He is alive. He is alive. He is alive… He cannot speak, and he remembers nothing, but he is alive…_ The ocean was awash in silver and a navy blue so deep it was almost black. The sun was peering through the clouds making the waves a patchwork of bright reflection and darkness. A storm was on the horizon, making that thin line separating sea and sky look white over the black clouds in the distance. The wind was picking up, tearing her hair from its pins and trying to pull her bonnet. Charlotte lifted her arms and felt for a moment that she could fly away to London if she wished, find her love, and restore him immediately with a glance. _Any recovery will be a miracle, if the doctors and Tom are to be believed. I should not trust to hope, for all the good it has ever done me._ Giving one last look off the cliffs into the growing storm, she turned her back on the wind and rain and let it blow her down the path, urging her steps faster as she wound towards Sanditon town, the carriage, and the long journey ahead of her.

****

Insufferably hot and stuffy after hours and hours of travel, Charlotte had finally fallen asleep along the way to London and had only awoken when she heard the sound of cobblestones under the carriage wheels. She felt dizzy. Her body tingling and aching all at once. The anticipation of her arrival was turning her belly to a leaden weight. When the carriage stopped for a cabbage cart with a broken wheel, she thought she was going to swoon then realized that due to the interlude she could now find more care in her deportment when she actually did arrive at Bedford Place.

_He is alive. He is alive. He is alive. In life there is hope…_ When the carriage finally did pull up it was past suppertime but she didn’t care. She left the carriage as soon as the footman opened the door and found Tom Parker and Lord Babington awaiting her on the steps.

“Oh Miss Heywood, I can’t tell you how pleased we are that you could find time in your busy schedule to come and aid us. Lady Denham is the soul of kindness to allow you here during such a sad time.”

As he spoke Charlotte took note of the darkness under his eyes and the pale of his cheeks, though his eyes were bright with hope. _There it is again…hope…_

“Esther will call tomorrow morning; she is delighted to have some female company. My dear wife does not overly care for London society and has bemoaned the scarcity of women in this house many times.”

Babington as well looked pale and tired. There was some subtle disarray to his dress as well, she only noted it because he was always so impeccably attired that any deviation was noticeable to one who knew him well.

“Would you care for some dinner? Or refreshment? You must be so tired…” Tom began.

“I thank you all, but I think I should like to see him right away. A little tea would be welcome too…” She stopped and looked up at Tom as they entered the foyer, his eyes were shadowed. “What is it? Has something happened?”

“I have told you already that he spoke your name,” Tom said, “but you should know that it is the only word to cross his lips. Not one other. He seems tormented, as though he wishes to speak but does not know how. I wonder if, perhaps you should rest first before you go see him, it may be distressing to you to see him thus and I wish only for your health and comfort which will undoubtedly be a great help to my brothers’ healing.”

“I appreciate your concern, truly, but I must confess that I have spent every moment since your last letter in turmoil. I truly do not know what I can do to help, but I should not wish to trouble anyone—” 

She was abruptly stopped upon a rush of skirts and a cry from the drawing room doorway. Georgiana positively ran towards Charlotte and threw her arms around her.

“I am so glad you are here! I was so worried when I received Tom’s message. I should have listened to you Charlotte! I thought he was just toying with you but I fear your name on his tongue is definite proof of the actual depth of his feelings. Feelings I confess I thought he was incapable of experiencing. Please forgive me! I wish I had listened to you last summer and not dismissed the idea that he wanted to be a better man because of you as an idle fancy of his.”

“Of course, I forgive you Georgianna! You were only acting as my friend. None of us could have foreseen any of this! I myself cannot believe that I am here. Have you seen him?”

They spoke as they walked, arm in arm, into the drawing room. Charlotte felt her unease melting away in the company of her dear friend and in its place, exhaustion began to set in.

“Sidney’s solicitor was here today, he said that he had a letter from Antigua. Apparently his man on the island is dead and the plantation overseers and staff were hit hard by sickness. They need him to come to the island to appoint new ones, lest his good works with freedom and fair pay be lost. We have long been debating what to do..”

Charlotte was warming her hands on a cup of tea and looked up thoughtfully, “What about Mr. Molineaux?”

“What about him? We haven’t spoken in ages.”  
“Is he still in London?”

“How could I know that.” Georgianna looked pale and wan at the mention of her former lover. Charlotte noticed that at his name she started as though someone had brought forth a ghost to the room. The mere mention of him bringing such a visceral reaction to her dear friend made Charlotte wince and wish she had not brought up the topic.

“I only thought of that he shares the same views on slavery as Mr. Parker, could not he act as an agent for you both in Antigua for your mutual interests?”

Babington piped up, “Charlotte that’s a brilliant idea! Why didn’t we think of that?”

Tom was standing at the mantle and looked up from the fire, “Of course of course, I shall make all the arrangements.” Then he went back to looking at the fire

“Tom, I don’t mean to presume,” Babington began, “but do you know of what you are volunteering to undertake? It will be some extensive papers to draw up in Sidney’s and Miss Lamb’s interests regarding his investments in Antigua. Also, I am unaware as to whether or not Sidney appointed a man of business in Antigua; if he did not, that will complicate matters extensively. Though in my experience, Sidney is not one to leave anything to chance without reason.”

“Actually,” Charlotte began, “There is mention in a letter I received from Mrs. Campion that Mr. Parker and I would be sharing the responsibility of all the decision making regarding her investment in Sanditon, would that not also include the money invested by Mr. Parker which comes primarily from his plantations in Antigua and through that give me the power to make decisions on his part? At least legally if necessary?”

“Oh, my dear,” Tom began, “You are truly an angel! I cannot imagine that my brother would broker any opposition to whatever decisions you deemed necessary! You do not happen to have the letter in your possession now?”

“Of course I do, in my satchel. I brought anything and everything that I thought may shed some light on current events and potentially help those involved.”

“Certainly,” said Tom with a genuine smile and light in his eyes, “you have always been so keen to understand the needs of others. If only everyone had the foresight of your little finger.”

Charlotte suddenly began to feel the weight of the past week and yawned audibly.

Babington noticed this and spoke up immediately, “Miss Heywood it must have been such a long day of travel for you with such a heavy emotional burden, would you please allow us to escort you to your room and retire for the evening. I’m sure that Sidney will be there in the morning as sure as he is there now.”

“I thank you Lord Babington, and the thought of a bath and sleep is very appealing, but I would still wish to look in on Mr. Parker tonight before I sleep, I need to see him, though I couldn’t say why.”  
“I think in this room we all understand why, there is no need to explain. I shall take you to see him myself.” And he offered her his arm.

Charlotte said goodnight to Georgianna and Tom and let Lord Babington lead her to the second floor and to Sidney’s room. She could recognize it as such since there was a chair, with a candle and books on a table laid outside the room with fresh water as though the need for a servant was enough to make sure one attended outside his door at all times. Babington left her at the threshold, the servant inside hurried out as soon as she looked in leaving her alone with Sidney Parker for the first time in a long time.

He was sleeping, long full lashes brushing the tops of his cheekbones speckled with freckles and still burnished from his time in the sun. His eyes moved quickly under their lids and his heavy even breath told her he was sleeping heavily. Charlotte made a mental count of how many breaths he made before the long arm on the mantle clock moved, then turned her gaze back to him. He had several days’ worth of stubble on his face, which only accentuated his features and the cut of his chin especially. She wished that her heart would slow down because she was afraid of waking him from the thundering in her chest. Several deep breaths and a quick closing of her own eyes brought her heartbeat to heel and allowed her to cross the room with three quick steps and stand beside his bed. Several books were on the bedside table, she saw someone named “Coleridge” on the first title among beloved favorites like _Wordsworth_ , _Shakespeare’s Sonnets_ , _Utopia_ , and _The Art and Thought of Heraclitus._ Charlotte’s eyes glazed with tears thinking of their conversation at the Sanditon Regatta last summer about Heraclitus, _“For he is not the same man and it is not the same river.”_ Then she also thought of her personal favorite quote of his via Plato, _“A man’s character is his fate.”_ She hoped against everything that the improved character of the man before her in bed would prove to save him from a life of misery. Half tempted to sleep in the bed with him regardless of decorum she settled on sitting in the chair at his bedside. She reached down and took his hand; noting the callouses on his fingers, firm but smooth in her own covered in ink stains. She lifted the fingers to her lips and kissed them. Perhaps it was her imagination, but it seemed that in that moment the fire sparked, the air from the flue pulled harder and flared the light in the room, her heart swelled to bursting, and she recognized that this same heart was irrevocably lost; as though it had not already been lost the instant she saw him all those months ago on the cliffs by the sea, and every time thereafter.

The first morning she was at Bedford Place Sidney did not wake up while she was with him, though she was told that he did briefly while she was visiting with Esther Babington. In fact, she did not see him awake for the first two weeks she was in London. She began to believe that the stories of him saying her name were a ploy, though an innocent one, to get her to come to London and nurse him. Tom, Babington, and Georgianna were much occupied locating, then securing the services of Mr. Molineaux and to ascertain the name of Sidney’s various solicitors to help with the business affairs in Antigua. After receiving an urgent letter from Lady Denham, (who was beginning to feel like the young people in town had completely deserted her,) to admit that she was unequal to the task of maintaining Charlotte’s bookkeeping in her absence, Charlotte began to feel like her journey may have been wasted. Other than to be able to spend a few hours each day with Sidney, reading to him and taking of his basic needs and speak to several different doctors all of which had different schools of thought on treatment.

The only proscribed task which gave her any pleasure other than watching Sidney sleep was to read to him. She started with the book labelled Coleridge which turned out to be a collection of sonnets and essays by a young student at Oxford named Hartley Coleridge whose father was a poet and good friend of William Wordsworth (A well known poet an author who Charlotte was very fond of.) She had not read very far into the collection of his sonnets when she came upon one which she read several times to herself before reading it aloud to Sidney.

_Sonnet VII_

_Is love a fancy or a feeling? No_

_It is immortal as immaculate Truth,_

_‘Tis not a blossom shed as soon as youth,_

_Drops from the stem of life--- For it will grow,_

_In barren regions, where no waters flow,_

_Nor rays of promise cheats the pensive gloom._

_A darkling fire, faint hovering o’er a tomb._

_That but itself and darkness nought doth show,_

_It is my love’s being yet it cannot die,_

_Nor will it change, though all be changed beside;_

_Though fairest beauty be no longer fair,_

_Though sharp enjoyment be a suicide_

_And hope a spectre om a ruin bare._

She must not give up hope. He is alive and in life there is possibility and hope. Brushing tears from her eyes she rose and quietly left the bedroom. She had work to do for Lady Denham and a pile of post to go through and reply to as well as the need to be ready to go and have tea with Lady Susan that afternoon.

The office at Bedford Place was an airy room, well lit by tall windows looking into the houses’ central garden courtyard. Placed adjoining the considerable library Charlotte always felt at home in the wide leather armchairs and behind the expansive desk, though she preferred a smaller writing table at the windows where she could see the birds in the tree tops and clouds in the sky.

The first letter she opened was from Mr. Stringer inquiring as to how long her stay in London would be since there were a great many decisions to be made regarding the buildings and supplies before spring construction could begin. He certainly downplayed the importance, though Charlotte knew that she could not remain much longer in London at this time and once back in Sanditon it was unlikely that she could return to Sidney before the summer. He also referenced several new commissions for homes to be built along the coast near town which had come his way that she would have more news about presently. Christmas was a week away and she longed to see her family, but knew as well that it would be hard travelling before the new year.

She heard voices in the passage and knew that Georgiana and Tom were back from their morning errands. Continuing on through her post she found a parcel from a solicitor she was unfamiliar with. Inside it was a letter from an unfamiliar solicitor inviting Charlotte to come to his office to attend to contracts involving Mrs. Campion’s investment in Sanditon, a letter from the lady herself, as well as drawings for a home she intended to build in the coastal town.

_Miss Heywood,_

_I have been informed of Sidney’s accident and am terribly sorry to hear of it. Within these contracts is a clause which permits you to make decisions on his behalf if he is unavailable for any reason to do so on his own, though all major changes must go through my solicitor first. Mr. Stringer has begun the planning stages of my new home in Sanditon and will be relying on you and Sidney to make all the decisions regarding materials. Please assure Lady Denham that I am not intending for it to be a permanent residence, but one for holidays and any future Regatta’s as a show of solidarity and interest in my investment._

_I have arrived in Paris and have enclosed an address to which any post may be sent and will be forwarded to me. My solicitor in London has my itinerary as well so any questions or concerns may be directed to me through him as well. Please pass on my sympathies to the Parker family, and I do truly hope Sidney’s recovery will be swift and complete._

_Yours Etc,_

_Eliza Campion_

Charlotte fought the urge to be cynical of Mrs. Campion’s intentions. She wished herself to believe that the changes exhibited in her character were true, and that the thought of her child had transformed her into a better person after all. Time would tell of course as with everything else.

Georgiana came in with Tom smiling wildly.

“Charlotte! Tom has found Mr. Molineaux and he has agreed to go to Antigua and take charge of the plantations!”

“That is wonderful news!”

“A junior associate from Mr. Manning’s office is to travel with him to the Indies and oversee the business operations there.” This from Tom. “They shall sail from Bristol the day after Christmas.”

“How wonderful. Should we not…Should we not tell Sidney?”

The smiles all faded and the room fell silent.

“My dear, I promise you that I will, though I fear it will be to no use.” Tom had a sad smile on his face. “On a happier note however, Mary and I have been making arrangements to bring Sidney to Sanditon as soon as he is well enough to travel. That is, of course, contingent on his waking for more than a few minutes each day…forgive me…” He trailed off and looked into the fire eyes shining. “I thought that all would be well when he announced his engagement to Mrs. Campion, everything now feels so uncertain, I hardly know what to think.”

“My dear Mr. Parker I am certain that all will turn out well, and if not well then at least it will be as it should.” Georgiana’s certainty was borne of living through hardships, though she was a bit more cavalier with Sidney’s health and future than was agreeable to Charlotte.

“Have you had any luck seeing him awake today Charlotte?” Tom looked up expectantly.

“I’m afraid not. And I fear that I must return to Willingden for Christmas very soon.”

“Oh Charlotte you must invite your family here and stay for the holiday! I’m sure we can accommodate them between our home and the Babingtons! I know they would not wish for you to leave so soon. Besides, Mary and the children will be here tomorrow, I did wish to surprise you, but I wouldn’t wish for you to make plans to leave just as they arrive.”

“I would not wish to impose on you or the Babingtons with such a large party as my family would certainly be. And my father never leaves the farm, in fact he makes a point of never leaving the county, thought I truly appreciate the sentiment behind the very generous offer. I would not wish to impose, and it seems as though my presence here has done nothing to aid in his recovery and has put me behind in my own work due simply to distance from the project. I am afraid I must return before the week is out unless something dramatic changes.”

**********

_He is awake!_ Her hands were trembling so much she was afraid to move to pour the tea and coffee. In fact, it took a great deal of concentration to pour her tea and she found herself humming the tune they had danced to at Vauxhall Gardens to ground her as she continually peeked at him through her lashes to make sure he did not fall asleep again. She found him watching her intently so she moved to turn her back to him so that she wouldn’t drop his coffee. Having fixed his cup, she turned and walked slowly over to the bed. As she moved, she took her time to look him over very carefully; his eyes were shadowed but clear, the dark circles below his eyes had begun to fade and he looked at her with fixed attention.

“Can you sit up? Or do you need me to help you?” _Ugh why did I ask him that he does not speak.._

Sidney shook his head no, and began to push himself up in bed and move more pillows behind him on the headboard. She observed his hands trembling as he reached for the cup of coffee but when he took it they were firm and solid.

“Be careful, it’s still hot.”

“Thank you.”

She stumbled as she moved to retrieve her own cup of tea and turned to look at him with wide eyes. _He spoke! Oh, how I hope this is as good a sign as I think it is!_ Tea in hand, she moved to sit in her reading chair next to the bed.

“Would you care for your breakfast now?”

“No, thank you.”

_His voice is certainly deeper than I remember though that may only be due to disuse... I don’t wish to over tire him, or scare him… If indeed he does remember me, I think it would be best to continue as I have been and read to him._

She sat down and picked up the book of Shakespeare’s sonnets and read to him her favorite one, number 116. As she read, she heard him say two of the lines with her; on the second one it was all she could do to clearly speak the last few lines before she began to cry with relief and joy. She let go completely of the pent-up anger and worry of the past few weeks and allowed herself to finally feel those emotions here in front of the man who inspired most of them. When he said her name, she thought she imagined it.

“Charlotte…”  
He said it again. She opened her eyes and could see the clarity and conviction in his face. She thought might faint, but composed herself, and asked him, “Sidney, do you know who I am?”

He looked pained, his eyes falling to the cup of coffee forgotten in his hand, he moved to place it on the bedside table and his hand began to shake spilling the hot drink on his hand and the comforter. Charlotte leapt up and grabbed the cup before it could fall and shatter then reached over with a towel to clean his hand, but he held her fingers firmly in his.

“Y-yes…and no. Th-thank you.” He mumbled out and began to make a careful study of the slight but strong fingers he held. She had a callous and ink stain on her right hand, a tell-tale sign of someone studious. Her skin was tanned golden with light freckles, and her eyes were still sparkling with tears. “I w-want to re-remember, but…I f-feel…” He stopped and shook his head in angry but tired resignation.

“Do not tire yourself! This has been the most awake I have seen you and I’ve been here for weeks! Let me send a servant to go and fetch Tom, you must rest yourself!”

She rang the bell and sent for Tom, there was much commotion in the halls when Tom came to the door, Sidney just managed a smile and hello to his brother before he fell asleep again. Dr. Fuchs came presently and had a short consultation with Charlotte, Tom, and Georgianna in the office to say that they should not expect any quick progress. In fact, given how long it has taken for him to recover this much it may be some time before he would be able to say more, though if he continued to be awake and eating well, he could potentially be in Sanditon after the new year.

“Will you be returning with us Dr. Fuchs? Or shall you stay in London until Easter?” This from Tom as he continued pacing the office with his usual animation.

“I shall stay here in London but I will send a junior associate with you to Sanditon in order to better accommodate your family as my patrons. My practice in London however, is sadly needing more of my attention at this time. Though I will be by the coast again before the end of spring.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Charlotte began, “Please have your associate who is more familiar with head injuries attend to Mr. Parker later in the week. Do you recommend anything particular to speed his recovery?”

“My dear girl, just continue with whatever miraculous treatments you have been committing to and I’m sure that his recovery will continue! It would seem that good food, rest, and good company are the best medicine for Mr. Parker right now.” He winked at Tom, made his goodbyes, and left.

Tom saw him to the door and when he came back to the office Georgianna and Charlotte were sitting by the fire talking about Antigua.

“Charlotte,” He began, crossed the room and got down on one knee taking her hand, “I must beg you to stay with us for Christmas. I am certain that your family, once they understand how central a figure you are in his recovery, will not object. Lady Denham too, shall be in London today to stay with the Babington’s for the holidays so you can be sure she too will not mind. Please Charlotte…”

“Oh, my dear Mr. Parker please stand up! I believe you are right and am happy to do so, but are you sure there is room for me here? Are not Arthur and Diana coming to stay as well as Mary and the children?”

“Of course there is! Arthur and Diana stay in our family townhouse on Bleeker street when they are in London and Mary and the children have their permanent quarters here of course.”

“Then I suppose if it gets too crowded, I could share a room with Georgianna,” She said and shared a laugh with her friend.

“Good! It is settled then. You shall write to your family, and I will write to Mary to hasten her arrival!”

**********

It snowed the next day, and the next. Heavy wet snow. The kind that comes quickly, on silent fuzzy cat feet and you don’t realize what is happening until the absolute quiet outside alerts you due to the oddness of it. The milk cart was late for the three days it took to clear the road outside Bedford Place and Charlotte couldn’t imagine what condition the country roads would be in or whether it was a blessing or a curse that the mud in the courtyard and stables froze solid each night. It took three days for Mary to arrive finally with the children at Bedford Place. While she and the children settled, Charlotte traveled to the Babington’s sprawling town home in Kensington for tea with Esther and Lady Denham.

The Great Lady of Sanditon County was in rare form, lamenting the weather and the state of the muddy roads. Esther rolled her eyes pointedly for Charlotte’s benefit several times and there were a few times she teared up from suppressing her laugh. Charlotte barely got her to speak at all about the progress on the buildings in Sanditon town, apparently the weather had put a temporary halt to all work outdoors, other than what was essential, so much of the labor was working on finishing pieces inside the completed buildings, or at least those with a finished roof. There was a great deal of time spent on safety precautions for fires, and of course now everything was properly insured, but none of that stopped Lady Denham from elaborating on all of it to no end. Charlotte began to tune her out and look out at the snow which had begun to steadily fall again. She worried about making it back to Bedford Place because she wanted to be there when Sidney awoke for supper…

“Miss Heywood? Miss Heywood?” Lady Denham had stopped talking and was looking directly at Charlotte.

“My apologies Lady Denham, er…what were you saying?”  
“You see Esther? This is what happens when I have no company in the country. When I am finally able to be around young people, I bore them to tears! And don’t try to deny it Miss Heywood I know when I am being tedious. I do it to make sure those who can make it through with manners are rewarded with my candor at the end.” Her face pinched as she squinted her eyes and observed Charlotte’s reaction to her speech

“Lady Denham, my sincerest apologies, I was beginning to wonder if I should soon return to Bedford Place as it is beginning to snow heavily again outside and I would not wish to miss supper with Mary.”

“Oh! Mary? Ha! You may try to convince yourself that you are longing to return to see your friend but I decry that there is another reason for you to wish to return with haste. Do you still try to say that no young man has caught your eye? Or are you willing to admit your regard for a certain someone? I swear my dear, you are as transparent as that glass, but with much less glazing! Your thoughts and feelings are right upon your face at all times! Oh, how I do admire and miss people who have no reason to constantly guard themselves, though I can see how your time in London has changed you for the better. Has not your Mr. Parker been whispering your name since his accident? Is not that enough for you? Dear me, love and time are not things to waste, though young as you may be, I hope you may learn this from me at least.”


	8. Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for all the words of encouragement and messages from you all to continue writing! Life got away from me with work and kids returning to school but I promise to make the time to work on this and get it finished!! This is only HALF of the Christmas Part of my story and I hope you enjoy it! Big thanks to Ms. Cecilia for helping me research Pellegrino Turi ;) XOXO Arkadea

Part Ten

Receiving a summons to visit Sanditon was the last thing that Edward expected to find when he finally made it downstairs at two in the afternoon in the French boarding house he was staying in. Events of the previous evening were not only quite lucrative for him, but also unexpectedly ill-timed knowing now that his location was common knowledge. For the past year He had made quite the life for himself by at first, gambling to accrue capitol, then investing the capitol in trade and various publication and news outlets. He may have lost his title but Edward Denham was no fool and he knew that he could do very well for himself as long as he stayed sober and did not let his mind dwell in the past.  
He received news of Esther’s marriage to that fool Babington, and that they were expecting their first child in the summer in a letter from Clara Brereton several months ago. He had encountered her playing piano at a private party a few months before he left for Callais. She was pregnant and married to some nobody but still had that fire in her eyes, that ambition, the knowing look that could level you to the ground. She knew as much as he did of his aunt, though she did have a few more details about Esther’s wedding and the progress with Sanditon than he expected. He only partially regretted allowing the name of his solicitor when he was in London to her, but still did not like being easily found. Since then, he changed his rooms and apartments twice before acquiring enough money to travel France and establish himself in trade. Since Talavera, the French were downcast and unsure of whether to follow their leaders any longer. This also resulted in less animosity towards Englishmen for which Edward was vastly grateful in his business as well as personal enterprises.  
Still, he was unsure as to why his disaffected aunt would wish him to return to England, and decided that whatever it was could not be so important as to take him from the gaming tables and delights of the French ladies, as well as needing to attend to his affairs here. He took a swig of ale and a bite of the crusty loaf brought to him by the tavern girl. Pretty enough though she was, he did not care for the strange rash he had noticed upon her thighs and backside the morning after their first (and last) tumble. She seemed to take offence to his aloofness and paled whenever she saw him with dark drawn eyes and a furrowed brow. Perhaps it is time to move on…  
Finishing his food and ale he made for the front door. The muck of Beauvoir, closest village to the sand flats of Mont Saint Michel was particularly pungent this morning after the wet snow of the previous days. It had taken some weeks for him to become used to the aromas of the city, especially provincial places lacking proper cleanliness as he was used to. This had not however disinclined him from traveling along the northern coast of France until he found suitable lodgings and accompanying gaming tables. He was paid through the end of the week at his current rooms; however, he did not wish to stay longer if the long arm of Lady Denham had reached him here already. He went to the stables and secured a horse before returning to his rooms, arranging for his trunks to follow him west, grabbed his saddlebags and departed with the sun cresting the cold winter sky.

It was two days until Christmas and Charlotte was beside herself with excitement. Sidney was improving slowly but steadily. His speech was somewhat jilted at times, occasionally he would exchange a word or phrase in French, Spanish or Latin which was disconcerting, but betrayed when he was feeling strong emotions. Dr. Fuchs said it was likely due to the location of his injury to his head though he could by no means be certain. On the recommendation of Mrs. Darcy, Charlotte was on her way to a highly recommended bookseller in the Royal Exchange. She had ordered a special journal for Sidney to use which had lines printed on the paper already so he could write with ease. She had also ordered a large amount of blank paper for another surprise she and Mrs. Darcy had in store for him, but it would not be delivered until later in the week  
According to Mrs. Darcy, Lizzy as she continually insisted Charlotte call her, the contraption was large and somewhat resembled a piano. It was constructed by one of a pair of Italian star-crossed lovers to aid in their ability to write to one another. Charlotte hoped it would be of some service to Sidney until he was able to maintain his correspondence without assistance. Mr. Darcy had purchased it some years back as an oddity with a romantic story attached to it. Apparently, its inventor was in love with a married woman, and she with him. They had a secret understanding for many years, only meeting when her husband was away. When he found out, he blinded her so she could not write to her lover or see him ever again. The inventor, a Signori Turri, was able to maintain a correspondence with his lover for the rest of his life since her husband assumed the invention was some new fashion of harpsichord and never questioned his wife’s use of it. Upon her death she willed it back to Signori Turri and his family liquidated his estate upon his death upon which it was purchased by the old Mr. Darcy for his wife.  
Charlotte was enchanted by the story and so grateful to the Darcy’s for allowing Mr. Parker to make use of it until his faculties could return. Charlotte was an absolute romantic at heart though she rarely admitted it and the story which accompanied the invention was most interesting and appealing.  
As she came downstairs for breakfast, she observed the servants finishing the hanging of ribbons and garlands for the celebration tonight and tomorrow. She could hear Tom and Mary laughing in the drawing room with the children. Upon entering she saw them decorating a small tree placed inside a stout round tub full of water to the right of the fireplace.  
“Charlotte good morning! Happy Christmas!” Mary was flushed and the children were dancing around with ribbons and small stars made of paper and tin.  
“Good morning! What is all this?” Charlotte had never seen anything like it, though likely due to the remote nature of her country hamlet.  
“It’s called a Christmas tree, they’re all the rage here in London. Queen Charlotte brought the tradition with her from Germany and I confess, I find it rather charming and festive don’t you agree?”  
“Indeed!”  
“Charlotte you must come and help us find a place for this lovely paper star that the children have made run to your rooms and fetch it my dears!”  
A chorus of, “yes mama,” followed. Once the children were on the stairs Mary turned to Charlotte and said, “We have boxes of toys and sweets that we shall hang on the tree tonight after the children are to bed for them to find in the morning. Such a lovely surprise and idea is it not?”  
“It is indeed. What a delightful way to celebrate the holiday!”  
“Breakfast is laid in the morning room,” Tom interjected, “once the star is placed, we shall eat, then to the Royal Exchange for some gifts, yes?”  
“It sounds like a lovely plan Mr. Parker.” Charlotte said with a smile, “though I should like to look in on Sidney before we leave.”  
“Of course, my dear, of course. I would expect nothing less.” He shot a knowing look at Charlotte and Mary as the children bounded down the stairs, paper star in hand.  
By the children’s direction, Charlotte placed it at the very top of the tree. They enjoyed a lovely breakfast which included spice bread and orange marmalade.  
Charlotte knocked gently on Sidney’s door, she heard Dr. Fuchs bid her to enter. She paused momentarily wondering why the doctor was here on Christmas Eve? She felt her heart flutter with concern then went in. Sidney was awake and at the desk in his room with the doctor at his elbow. Dr. Fuchs looked up at Charlotte as she came in with his lips thin and forehead tight with worry. Sidney was focusing intently on his hand and the desk. He was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t see or possibly even notice Charlotte come in.  
In recent days, Sidney had taken to copying down poetry to practice his hand coordination. Dr. Fuchs had said that when he fell from his horse, he first tried to break his fall with his right hand and had broken his thumb which has been making writing difficult as it healed. Charlotte noticed the sweat beading on his forehead and saw that he was, in fact, not writing, but squeezing a ball of what looked like clay in his hand. As she quietly made her way further into the room, Sidney noticed her and put the ball down, glancing surreptitiously at the doctor and wrapping his dressing gown around himself again and tying the sash. The standard rules dictating dress decorum had been stretched but not quite breached between them, Sidney did not fully, formally dress when he kept to his rooms- in fact Charlotte had not seen him in more than his linen pants, white linen shirt and dressing gown in all the time that she had been staying at Bedford Place. Charlotte did not mind his state of dress (or lack thereof.) In fact, it was endearing. He also had a full beard since he refused to let the servants shave for him insisting that the irritation of facial hair would provoke him to working harder towards healing so he could do it himself. She knew that the stubble and hairs tickled and itched and he had a prevailing scowl sometimes because of it. Still his face brightened and warmed with a smile as soon as he stood, though she could see some tension in his forehead and smile.  
“Ah Miss Heywood, Happy Christmas.”  
“Thank you, Dr. Fuchs, to you as well! I confess I am surprised to see you here this close to the holiday.”  
He glanced quickly at Sidney, they made eye contact and after seeing him shake turn his head once, quietly sighing Dr. Fuchs looked back at Charlotte, “Yes, well I was here at the request of Mr. Parker who was looking for erm, ways to exercise his hand muscles to aid in the rehabilitation of his dexterity.”  
“I wanted to know for certain I could write to you when you return to Sanditon despues de Natale.” He turned then and cursed under his breath. “Forgive me…”  
“Please, do not distress yourself, it will be some weeks before the roads clear enough for me to travel at all. I’m sure that all your hard work will pay off in spades.” She smiled and felt her cheeks warm. “I came to see you because we are heading out to The Royal Exchange for some shopping and I thought I would see if there is anything you need that I could procure for you?”  
“I thank you, however I sent my man out yesterday to find all that I require for myself…and for the holiday.” With the last he looked up at her from under his eyebrows with a conspiratorial grin.  
“Very well,” she smiled again, “I should not wish to keep Tom and Mary waiting, we shall be back for tea. Will you come downstairs today? I’m sure the children would love to see you.”  
“Perhaps. Send them all my greetings and I do hope you enjoy your outing; London at Christmas is lovely.”  
“I will, thank you. Dr. Fuchs, Mr. Parker.” She curtsied and left with an anticipatory warmth in her heart and a smile on her face.

When they finally set out it was lightly snowing. The air was brisk and smelled of woodsmoke and horses. Charlotte was beginning to be accustomed to London, its worldliness and culture, its filth and beauties. There were many things she missed about the country, though her inquiring mind loved all that there was to learn and experience in the city. Today, for instance would be her first time visiting The Royal Exchange.  
Once in the carriage, Tom explained to Charlotte how the existing building was the second incarnation of the Royal Exchange, the first having burned down in 1666. As they drew near, Charlotte couldn’t help but think that it looked like a church except for the golden grasshopper, the tall columns and arches reminded her of a cathedral. The entire building was full of people, likely on the same errand as her small party. There were vendors roasting nuts and selling bags of candy and fresh buns. The air was full of the smells of people, fresh bread, roasting food, spices, horses, and frost. Charlotte could hear music from somewhere inside and realized that a string quartet was playing music from a balcony with carol singers for the shoppers inside.  
She gripped Mary’s arm a bit tighter and soldiered on into the throng. She had brought her small purse given to her earlier in the week when Lady Denham had arrived. They first stopped at a milliner and she purchased fabric for her maid to make a new dress, as well as some embroidery floss for her mother and sisters. Tom had disappeared on some mysterious errands of his own and promised to meet the ladies at a nearby chocolatier in an hour.  
Charlotte and Mary were engrossed in the bustle of the Exchange. There were an overwhelming number of things to see and do. Tom and Mary had tried to prepare Charlotte for what she would experience there, but her expectations were blown away by the reality of the building and its contents. She had never seen a more diverse array of products, services, innovative items, and people. She had thought that Vauxhall was the most varied and interesting place she had ever seen until she went shopping on Christmas Eve at the Royal Exchange.  
Mary spotted a jeweler selling ornaments like the ones that were on their little tree at home. The ladies were enchanted by the tiny metal animals, flowers, stars and balls. Mary ended up buying a set of 20 little candleholders you clip to the branches of the tree. The set came with 25 tiny beeswax candles to go with them. Charlotte couldn’t wait to not only see them on the tree, but to see the children’s reaction to them. After this thought, she bought a set for her parents because she knew her brothers and sisters would love the tree during the holidays and would like them as well.  
She found the bookseller and sent her parcels to the carriage with one of their attending servants then smelled something completely divine. They were approaching the chocolatier and Charlotte could smell coffee roasting. She bought a bag of it for Sidney, knowing how much he loved the drink and she had to admit that the smell of the roasting beans was tantalizing, especially with the smell of chocolate in the background. Mary ordered some tea to be delivered to Bedford Place, along with a bag of powdered chocolate. The merchant told them that in the West Indies some people put the chocolate in their coffee. Both ladies thought that it sounded like a nice holiday treat. They had just finished their order when Mr. Tom Parker came rushing up to them eyes sparkling with excitement.  
“Bless my soul ladies! The holiday spirit is certainly about! We must return home soon so that we can have tea and be ready for our guests this evening!”  
“Guests?” Charlotte was truly surprised; they had not entertained anyone at Bedford Place other than herself since before Sidney’s accident. “Who is joining us this evening?”  
“Oh, my dear it is meant to be a surprise! Truly, we wanted to surprise you as part of our gift for all that you’ve done for our family and Sanditon.” Mary squeezed her hand as the three of them made their way towards Cornhill and Change Alley.

******  
They made their way to Bedford Place in the carriage full of packages. It had begun to snow heavier as the day progressed towards evening. When they pulled up to their home entrance the ladies disembarked and Tom stayed behind talking to his man. He told the ladies that he had some business at a wine seller called Berry for some special item he required for the party that had not arrived yet according to their butler. Mary was not pleased but she acquiesced since she knew he would be downcast and distracted all evening if he did not go.  
Being wet and cold from their outing, the ladies made their way upstairs to change for dinner. Upon entering her room, Charlotte found a large parcel on her bed wrapped in a red ribbon. The note on the box said simply, “Happy Christmas Charlotte.” 

To Be Continued...


End file.
